The Game We Were Born To Lose (on hold)

Leave Me Alone

Kokichi's pov

"You okay Kokichi?" Kaito called out

I didn't not answer nor say anything to him instead I backed away slowly. As i did back up Kaito took a step forward.

"Kokichi?..."

I continue to walk backwards clenching my hand to my chest. I could barely breathe. I began to hyperventilate the more he moved. When i got the chance I turned so fast and sprinted towards the dorms. Kaito tried and reached out to stop me but was unsuccessful. The minute i made it to my dorm, i locked the door and hid under my covers, cowering in fear.

"Stop shaking..... STOP SHAKING DAMN IT!!"

I tried to calm down but it wasn't helping any. what struck me as abnormal was that i heard a voice... it wasn't from outside my door, but rather... my own room... I uncovered myself and no one was in the room.... not even in the bathroom of closet. Then i heard it again... but only this time... i saw something.... it was a small glimpse of course. Still no one was actually there.... as i tried to ignore it it began to got worse.... but this time the room seemed to be shrouded in darkness and then I suddenly saw a version of me... but with pitch black skin and white hair.....

"Kokichi~"

It called out to me and stood there with just a smile, clothing, and hair visible.

"Come here Kokichi.... I won't harm you~"

Not sure what to do... i came up to it anyways. It laughed and then suddenly a pair of purple eyes became visible. Its eyes looked very cynical for some reason. Suddenly I felt it touch me and the room came back to normal. What the actual fuck just happened? I looked around and he was no where to be seen. I exhaled heavily and went back to my bed. I laid there for god knows how long.... then the low lights in my room turned on as the normal lights turned on, indicating that is was night time. I got up and opened the door going outside to the lobby of the dormitory. Everyone seemed to be in their rooms or in the schools or labs. I went outside and headed to the courtyard were the shrine of judgement is. I sat down on a bench and enjoyed the darkness of the night. I caught myself looking up at the stars and being completely mesmerized by them. Back when i was with D.I.C.E.... thats all we ever did... since we lived in the streets... the stars and night sky was our ceiling... those happy thoughts then became to be corrupted by other thoughts. Not only do stars help me escape my problems. They also reminded me of another thing.... The Ultimate Astronaut.. i just looked down with a pained look and just starred at the damn floor. I sighed and began to cry to myself. Why me.... I thought. As i felt my heart feel sadness and violation..... i started to feel despair and hatred. I then felt something touch my shoulder.

"Its okay to feel despair... its part of life..."

I turned my head slightly and i saw the white haired me again...

"You know...its also okay to do anything to yourself too you know...."

I faced my head away from him and he came into my line of sight...

"When i say that i mean self harm...."

My eyes widen slightly from hearing that.

"Why would to do that to myself?....."

"Why not...? It's tempting huh, Kokichi?"

"No..... i cant do that..."

"I see... deny it all you want... it is your choice in the end anyways.... its just easier to give up now.."

He disappeared again. I just sat there clenching both of my hands together... then i felt something touch my shoulder again. I felt anger overcome me. I grabbed whatever was touching my hand and threw them over me.

"I told you.. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"

They hit the ground really hard and grunted in pain.

"What the hell Kokichi?!"

Turns out i threw Shuichi... oh well..besides i don't like surprises.

"What do you want detective?"

"I've been looking everywhere for you to see if you were okay."

He got up and dusted himself off and grabbed his hat. He looked at me slightly irritated.

"Why do you care anyways?"

"...some one is targeting you and you don't know it.."

"Thats kind of obvious...."

"Yeah well.. look at you... you are all bruised and beat up."

What he said gave me flashbacks causing me to walk away.

"Kokichi wait!"

He followed me as i walked.

"Why won't you tell us what happened!?"

"Because I don't remember."

I began to walk faster but he somehow kept up.

"If you didn't remember why is it that you're walking away?"

I stopped and i felt my teeth gritting. I turned around and punched Shuichi in the face, knocking him back slightly

"Your nosy for a detective... if I don't wanna say anything then its obviously none of your business."

Shuichi said nothing as i left. I headed back to the dormitory.... one thing that i hated was the fact that the minute I entered the lobby Rantaro saw me and immediately wanted to talk to me... i ran so fast up to my room that he couldn't get to me. He was close enough but I slammed the door in his face.. he pounded on the door continuously.

"Kokichi open up!"

I just ignored him and covered myself back up in my blankets.. why can't i have a moment of peace...? I just want everyone to leave me alone. I also don't like the fact that both Shuichi and Rantaro are being nosy about this... its not even their problem... my eyes started to feel heavy. After a while Rantaro's pounding on the door became distant. I was so mentally exhausted that I fell asleep without hesitation...