About You

XI.

"Uhmm... What's with the face? Are you guys okay?" Heart suddenly asked. Even tho I badly want to sneak a peak on my friends, I can't but I'm sure they showed weird expressions. Besides I can't afford to show up in the middle of Heart's lil' confession.

"Ehem. Yeah we-we're fine. How bout you?" Si Llyndon na ang naunang sumagot habang magkasunod namang tumikhim sina Iris at Max.

Heart laughed a bit. "I'm definitely good. So can I continue?"

"Sure go ahead."

"Okay. So eversince I became a contributor of our campus newspaper I started writing short stories turned into novels. I went out of my confort zone and started to be confident. Sumali ako sa mga contest, most of the time I loose but the few times I won, I'm very happy. Because there's someone who's always very supportive and proud of me no matter what. And yeah, that's Mr. C and soon after we became a couple."

Yes. Niligawan ko sya the first time I told her I'm proud of her, cause I really do. She became officially mine the first quarter of senior year.

"I am very happy that time. Highschool years passed by like a bliss. Nag college kami. Same course but different majors, but were good. Nagaaway pero never naghihiwalay. I find our love story romantic and cute. Until one day, on our sophomore year, everything messed up." That year I messed things up.

Heart deeply sighed."During that year, Redwine, an International publishing company held a book writing contest for aspiring young authors in the Philippines. I was so hooked with the contest itself and the prize it offers. Imagine, the winning piece will be publish by Redwine. I was like wow! Just wow."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi ni Heart. She was so hyped that time that our phone call last for 5 hours. Tsk inabot na kami ng alas tres ng umaga non.

"I was so enthusiastic about it. Just imagine how great of a stepping stone it is if I win the contest. Naghanap agad ako ng mentor to help me with my entry. Of course, as always Mr. C. was there for me. Together with my new found friends, and his... friends I know I can do it."

Narinig ko kung paanong naubo sina Maxwell sa sinabi ni Heart. They are the friends shes talking to. I never thought this is gonna be this awkward.

"I started writing my entry and everything went well. Inspired na inspired ako non. But when my mentor read it, she said it's lacking. She rejected my piece. And for the first time ever since I careered being an author, I felt disappointed with myself. Nasanay na kasi ako na everything went well for me."

Ilang box ng tissue ang naubos nya ng araw na yon. She was deeply affected by it. Ipinagpilitan nya kasi sa mentor nya yung sinulat nya, pero wala e. It's still a no.

"Rewrite everything. This is just so plain Heart. You won't win kung ito lang ilalaban mo.. You need more intense feelings and emotion. A happy- care free story is not enough. Never enough. That's the exact words my mentor said to me. Ang sama ng loob ko non, but the next day I felt lighter. Mr. C. surprised me with a breakfast on bed."

That's the last time I cooked for her. Because after that day, I ruined everything about us.

"And by that time, I already decided. I'll push my story thru. Okay lang kahit hindi manalo, ang mahalaga maipasa ko yung story ko, because that story of mine is all about Mr. C."

Wait what? It's about me? I haven't given a chance to read it, because she told me it's a surprise.

"It's about, how he took a huge part of me and brought the best out of it. How he annoys me everyday but at the same time loves me with all of him. It's a story about how much happiness he let me experience every single second of my every day. It's all about how much I love him with all of me. That's why it's fine. Kahit matalo ako, okay lang ang mahalaga, I already showed the world how much I'm proud and thankful of my boyfriend." Shit.

"Keeping that in mind, I continued writing. It's still worth it, it'll always be. I'm already contented with what I have. Kaya okay lang. But then again, not every story has it's own happy ending. Sometimes it just ends without happiness. Everything shattered when he left me without explanation." Fvck my world also crumpled because of that.

"My world literally crumpled down. Ni-hi-ni-ho wala. I was like what the hell? Ganun na lang yon? I tried to reach out pero wala. Iniwan nya ako sa ere ng hindi ko alam kung bakit. I was like ano bang nagawa kong mali? I was so lost that time. The inspiration of my everything disappeared without notice. I admit naging miserable ako that time, because my whole world literally revolves around him." Mine too.

"I promised myself that I'm ready to beg for him just to come back. Mabigyan lang ako ng pagkakataon na makita sya, I'll beg on bended knees. And yes, I was given a chance to see him, in the library where we first met. But even tho I beg, wala ding nangyari. Lumuhod ako pero binalewala nya ako. Ang sakit. Sobrang sakit non."

I heard her voice cracked. Is she crying? I was about to text Iris to stopped the interview already. I think it's already too much for Heart. Pero natigilan ako when I heard her next statement.

"I.. I tried to kill myself. I was so devastated that I'm willing to die that time. Alam kong mali, but it's just so hard for me that I overdosed myself."

Muntik ko ng mabitawan ang phone ko sa narinig ko. What the hell? She attempted suicide?! Because of me?!

"Heart, are you... okay? Do you want to stop the interview?" Llyndon's voice was laced with concern.

"Tubig oh, inom ka muna." narinig kong sabi ni Iris. "Let's take a break first. Do you want some sweets?" Max also approached Heart.

"Guys chill, I'm fine okay? I'm already over it. Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit naiiyak pa din ako e." she laughed even tho her voice is cracking.

"Leoel, he's just so cruel."

My tears started to fall. I can't accept it. That she almost die because of my stupid actions.

"Omg! Edit that out! I'm sorry, I just said that without thinking." I smiled bitterly I am really cruel. I want to approach her and hug her right now. But I don't have the guts to do so.

"Uhmm excuse me, I'll just go to the rest room to retouch. Let's continue after." When I made sure that she's already gone. I stood up wiping my tears.

"Pre, okay ka lang ba?" nilapitan agad ako ni Iris. I simply nodded.

"Una na ako." I can't stand to stay here any longer. I passed by them at nagmadaling lumabas ng café, with my whole heart feeling so heavy.

***
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