back to you- reddie

10. Richie's POV

I wake up to see the unlit joint in my fingertips. I shove it in an empty shoebox where the rest of my drugs hide. I shove my driver's license back into my wallet and leave the house, walking to nowhere un particular.

Why do you miss them so much, Richie? They hurt you.

But it's been a year.

They still ruined you. They destroyed you.

I can forgive them.

No, you can't.

It's been a year.

You tried to kill yourself. Because of them.

It wasn't just because of them.

You can't forgive them.

I can.

You can, but will you?

I find myself in the Barrens where the Losers and I used to play in all the time when we were little. I look over at the small stream where we built the dam.

I sit staring at that fucking stream for an hour.

I'm about to get up and leave, to scold myself for being so stupid, when I hear familiar voices. I whip my head back to see them. Tears spring into my eyes and I run.

What the fuck am I doing?

You're running from your problems. Like you always do.

I feel them chasing after me, causing me to run even faster. I start to get dizzy, not feeling alive.

When was the last time you ate, stupid?

I fall down, catching my breath. They huddle around me, everybody here except Eddie. Where is he?

"Richie!" Stan exclaims. They help me up and I gasp for air. I'm suffocating and it's not from running when starving. It's from what's going to happen.

Run away, Richie. You dont want to talk to them.

I try to, but they grab me.

"Let me go," I scream. Bill pulls me closer to him, and hugs me tight. I try to get away, but the other Losers form a group hug around me. I scream, wanting to be free.

"Lemme go! Stop! No!" I let those tears fall down. They dont see that I'm suffocating. I'm drowning in my own tank and they dont see the water.

"Richie!" Bev yells.

"R-r-r-richie, w-we're so s-sorry!" I stop fighting.

"Huh?"

"We're sorry," Mike says gently. He has a way with his voice. It can make the biggest chaos seem calm.

You can't forgive them, Richie.

Yes, I can.

Do you really want to?

"We're sorry," Bev cries.

"We're so sorry," Ben adds.

"We're sorry," Stan says.

Maybe.

I sob. It seems like the only thing I can do anymore. They hug me. They shield me.

After a couple of minutes, I get up and walk away, not a word spoken.

○

What the fuck, Richard? Why didnt you say anything?

Because I'm weak.

I lay on my bed, staring at the fan that blows air into my face. I stare at each blade as they zoom by, circling over and over again.

Just forgive them, Richie. It's not like they murdered you.

I wish they did.

I run outside again to Bill's house. I knock on the door, Mrs. Denbrough answering the door.

"Richie?" I look down at my feet.

"Hi, Mrs. Denbrough," I mumble. She hugs me.

"I haven't seen you in forever. Come in." Without saying anything, I walk directly into the basement, sitting on my designated beanbag chair. I wait for them to come home.

I will forgive them.

Sorry the chapter was so short, they will get longer

Listen to the song while reading it has a better effect :)

So, the words in italics are his mind fighting with himself, if you couldn't tell alreddie.

I think I might do a few more chapters with Richie's pov because theres a lot to be said there, so the next chapter will probably be Richie's

Don't forget to vote and comment what you think :)