The Other Stark

Chapter 23

When Bucky finally woke up, Nat was still on his room, shuffling through her phone, distracted. The woman looked up when she heard the sheets shifting, her attention going to the desperate man in the bed, frantically moving.

"Hey! You're safe! We're at the Tower. You're okay," she said, getting up and rushing to his side, trying to calm him down, as he tried to get rid of the IV and the thin tube on his nose.

"Is she dead? Did I kill her?" he said in a voice that sounded like disgust, tears rolling down his cheeks. Nat looked him over, realizing he was talking about Tory.

"She's going to be fine. Don't worry," she told him, some hesitation on her voice. She knew her Tory would be fine, but Steve was taking too long to come back to the room, and she wondered what Cho had told them.

"Bullshit. I almost killed her. She won't be fine," he said rudely this time, trying to stop the flashbacks of the fight on his head.

He couldn't believe he almost murdered the one person that saved him from falling on the abyss that was eating him inside. The only person, besides Steve, who didn't hesitate to help him, not afraid if he snapped at her. He felt the same way he did when this happened with Steve when he almost killed him. The anguish, the guilt, the feeling of losing the part of him that trusted him.

Natasha didn't know what to do. He was getting panicked, and she wasn't sure what Barnes was able to do with a broken leg, broken ribs and a displaced clavicle, but the best shot was to call the nurse. Before she could, though, the door opened, and Rogers rushed in, trying to calm the man down, seeing him struggling.

"Hey Buck, you're safe!" Steve mumbled at his side, pinning the metal arm on the bed.

"Where is she, Steve?" he said, knot on his throat, looking at the blond. He still felt the strings that made him the Winter Soldier pulling to get control over his body.

"Next door," Rogers said, stepping back.

Bucky stared at the wall on his right as if he could see her on the hospital bed. He took a deep breath, as everything came back, everything he tried to leave behind, all the confidence that Tory managed to put back on him disappeared, leaving the empty shell that he was before she found him.

"Bucky? Hey!" Steve asked, trying to get his attention, but he didn't even move, hands clenched on the sheets.

"Steve, let's just... let's talk outside. He needs some alone time," Nat said, hand on Steve's arm. She pulled him out of the room, the man taking his time to look at the wall behind her before his red eyes flickered to her.

"Steve!" Romanoff called him warmly, in a way she never talked to anyone.

"She's in a coma," he said, emotionless. The redhead stared with wide eyes at him, not expecting her situation to be that serious.

"Cho doesn't have any estimate or anything to when she's waking up if she will. But the wounds were not severe, to the point of leaving permanent damage."

"It was that bad?" Nat asked herself out loud.

"That's why he's that desperate. Buck remembers everything he did. The desperation on his eyes when he asked if he had killed her. I've never seen him wear that look."

"He'll push everybody away, again. Thinking everything was his fault," the blond breathed sharply, trying to think about anything that could comfort his oldest friend, but nothing came to mind.

"Well then, let's not give him any reason to," she said, walking back to the door of Bucky's room with a slight smile.

"I'll be here with him. You should take a nap, or go see your dame, Steve. I'm sure your dying to."

...

When Natasha re-entered the room, she called the nurse to check up on Bucky and waited till she left to speak.

He still had a blank expression on his face, clearly not in the mood to talk to anyone, so when he spoke up, Nat was surprised.

"Did you get him?" he asked a bit of anger on his voice, hoping everything wasn't in vain.

"Who? Rumlow? Hill and Fury are handling him," she assured him with a kind smile, carefully choosing her next words.

"Do you remember what happened?" she asked cautiously, not sure if it was a good idea. But they were in the dark on this one. Yes, they knew what happened, kind of, but an explanation would be nice.

"I was just fighting him, while she tried to disable the weapon. He whispered the words and ran away, leaving me there with de urge to kill her," Buck simply said, not able to look the redhead in the eyes, afraid of what he would see in them. When she didn't speak up, he kept talking.

"And here I thought things could go back to at least kind of normal. I'm sure first thing Tony will do is kill me for what I did, and I don't blame him and Steve is probably thinking if all that fights because of me were worth it. I-I..."

He talked in a rush, his thoughts coming a mile a second, all the possibilities of what could happen to play on his mind. Nat looked at him with understanding eyes. She knew what was like to feel that everyone just wanted you out of their lives, giving up on you.

"Hey, Tony isn't angry with you, no one is, okay? We all know it isn't you when He takes over and it's not your fault either. Don't go blaming yourself again for things you can't control, Buck, and don't say you're not worth it, you are. We'll figure this out together, as we always do," Nat reasoned, assuring he knew it was true. The brunette said nothing else, her words replaying on his mind.

"So, I'm sure the food here's sucks, I can sneak in the goods if you want... what do you think?"

He laughed dryly, thankful she had changed the subject.

"Yeah... that would be great!" he said, before both of them started a light conversation about random topics, never mentioning their previous talk.