Survivor's Guilt Book 1 The Breaking Of An Old System

Chapter 3: "Sid" Coming To A Conclusion

Flash forward, December 24, 2010

It all started with a single summer, a friendship I never expected. I thought it all would last forever. I guess I am still a foolish child in the playground of hell. This isn't goodbye, we still have a chance to fly further into the brighter future. Do we think about the future like we think about now?

Can we truly survive out there? All the memories changing and morphing into whatever we believed they were. As we walk down the familiar path through the forest, I see something I haven't seen in a while. It explains everything.

"So, this is where it's all going to happen, right where it started. The plane, explosion and bodies dropping."

Lloyd walks over to me, holding up a book trying to convey a message. It was called "We Are The Reason Our Sins Compile."

Maybe he was saying it was my fault all this happened. I can never read him when he's like this. All quiet and secretive which speaks volumes about the importance of this moment. He drops the book down, as he's coming closer with a fierce, intense stare. I thought I got through to my brother but failed him as well.

Vincent why didn't you tell me about Lloyd before it all lead us to this moment of truth. I don't want to kill my friend, but neither can I allow myself to be murdered. Our dreams and desires were shared amongst one another because the bridge of indifference no longer mattered to the world.

He's running towards, throwing a knife at my face, saying "Sid, you know what you have to do my brother. So, don't hesitate. Remember what you're fighting for and never let that go."

How could I forget? Those comrades I've lost as well. We all have things we cherish and want to protect. Lloyd, you were one of those things and still can be if you see the light and error of your ways. I jump down out of the way while it cut across my face causing blood to come down my right cheek.

I then tackle Lloyd onto the ground. I am beating my friend to death with all my might in my fists. I cannot waver at a moment like this for the future of everyone depends on it. Lloyd downward stabs me in my right eye with a knife that he hid in his pocket and then kicks me off him. I pull out it quickly fearing I'd die soon.

As I'm on my knees breathing heavily with all the breath in my body I hear something.

"Sid, who cares if the odds are stacked against you. Or that you never made it as a therapist like you wanted but it's what's in the heart that counts. I'm here whenever you need me, so go and fight like you have been."

It was Lloyd's voice I heard.

"There's not a damn thing I don't cherish, but I could never protect what I cared about."

Those words meant the world to me, so I stood up and covered my lost eye with my shirt. I wrapped the shirt around my eye and grabbed the bloody knives from the ground.

I looked Lloyd dead in his eyes, "Alright my friend, it's now time, to end this battle."

I ran towards him beginning to stab him in his eye, but he tripped me and sliced my back.

I fell and got back on the attack again. This time I tripped him and got him on the floor. I put the knife to his neck and he puts his knife to mine.

We both say, "Are you going to do it?"

I get off Lloyd and allow him to get back up.

I feel tears of joy coming up, "There's a part that still wants to see you as the guy I remember becoming best friends with. I cannot lose another friend, another brother. It means too much to me to bear."

Lloyd admits, "I, at one point, saw you as a brother that needed to be protected. But I soon realized that I was losing sight of a mission that an old friend once gave me, long ago."

Lloyd reasons, "Are you prepared to do what's necessary to stop me, Sid?"

"I'm willing to put everything I have into my fists until they bring you back to your senses. All the countless battles we've been through together, they weren't for nothing!!! I'm not turning my back on you, not this time."

Lloyd laughs and cries a little, "You're still just a boy, after all. I grew up a long time ago and thought this little fantasy of friendship could make me see different, but I was wrong."

Is that true Lloyd? All those times we spent causing trouble and having the time of our lives didn't mean anything to you. Things were bad, I always needed a friend and know you were there. I get flashes of us back then. Lloyd being egotistical again to my crazy ideas.

The times we jumped in carts and went downhills. Occasionally mother would laugh at our antics because were being goofballs. All we needed was light in the darkness. We could be that each other. Now our light is being tested.

Lloyd pauses in a stance, "I've been caged my whole life with a path full of loss following me everywhere I go. Only in death am I truly free away from those burdens."

As Lloyd proceeds to stab himself in the heart, I run towards him holding my hand out. Everything is starting to get black, must be because of the huge loss of blood. I fall heavily on my face, barely breathing. I continue to my friend even crawling with all I have left. I must protect what's important to me.

I've tried so desperately to fight for everything I've lost, even my sanity. As I watch the knife pierce his heart, my own heart broke in a thousand pieces.

I feel a weird feeling in my gut like I'm about to throw up. My friend's cold corpse is lying dead on my feet and I'm wavering to even move. Survivor's Guild was our new home. The Castaways were allies.

The enterprise was comprised of our enemy's all along. Some were honest and true but not too many exist any longer. The disease didn't kill us this world and its cycle did. We failed so many and let them down. My brother why did you make...

All to protect these people I consider friends for the future. Was it worth it? Did I make the right choice? Will I be able to live with this? Vincent, I think Lloyd completed his mission after all. It was his life. Nothing is more important than the mission...