Survivor's Guilt Book 1 The Breaking Of An Old System

Chapter 16: "Lloyd" Do We Control Our Fate?

Flashback, January 5th, 2004.

I saw a dog screaming with hunger. The dog was very anorexic and had many scars all over her body. She was a lost baby like me I guess. I finally found a friend maybe, on my long-lost journey.

I don't have to steal or rob any more stores because I have a friend.

Without having something to protect and fight for life doesn't have any reason nor isn't worth continuing. I go towards the crying dog and feed her some of the stolen apples I have in my pocket. As she bites it, I see life come back into her eyes. It brings me to tears, acknowledging I saved this lost dog hunger and she saved me from lonesome. I'm guessing that since she has bruises literally all over body she was abused and treated differently like me.

I wished for a friend though I once had many at school they weren't what I would consider friends now. This little puppy is all I have in this dark world. After she was done eating, she began to start barking at the air. Maybe she was acknowledging the true beginning of freedom or the ugly eyesore of the trash dump. I can't even remember how I ended up here but everything in Ironforge always seems to end up here even the people.

For the past few days, I have had nothing but trash to eat while living under this broken-down car. No one cares if I live or die anymore not after I became a criminal to survive. I once was an orphan not too long ago but that ended like everything else in my life in utter disgust.

"You're not my son, I only adopted you to be his brother to teach him it's better to be an only child. Then you grew from a baby and even though we tried our hardest to change you into what we needed you to be, it didn't work. You were never really apart of this family anyways."

He threw me out, even as my brother Tucker who have always protected me fought against his father but failed. Tucker's head got slammed into the door and I was left to watch his blood fall onto to the concrete. Tucker recovered again with new found strength I never seen running towards," I won't fail you, little brother! Wipe those tears cause you're coming back home."

A gunshot came out of nowhere and put a hole in the grass near my foot. I couldn't see straight as my father yelled, "Leave before the next one goes in your head boy."

I immediately started running into the distance, down the road while hearing Tucker, "Little brother don't go. I need you more than you can imagine. I can't lose you. Don't go. Don't go. Don't go! Lloyd, please! Come back! I'll find you again and I promise I'll save you. I hate you for what you've done father!"

Those were the last words he said before I ran so far down I couldn't hear him anymore. I stopped near town the closest I could possibly get before looking back at my old home. Which has always been a great distance away from Ironforge. I throw up as memories begin to compile into my mind. I see Tucker teaching me how to read but getting easily annoyed because of my lack of interest in understanding.

My father carrying me around his neck and holding my arms towards the sky, "There's nothing you can't touch that isn't worth holding."

Mother, whenever father came home drunk she would always protect us and hide us somewhere discrete. Up until he killed her cause of the alcohol abuse with his careless driving. I resented him a lot of because of it but had no choice but to live with it. I've had many friends in school from Ironforge but most of them have either disappeared or gone missing. I wondered if I would soon be one of them. As an Officer drove towards me I began to throw up badly and faint feeling nauseous from everything.

The frustration was eating me inside and I hesitated to do anything to save myself. I steadily drift across the ocean in a sinking boat reminiscent of the future I thought I had with them seemingly fading away. As I begin to drown in the ocean, a hand grabs me saying "It's alright, let go and be honest."