Believer ~Jean x Reader AU~

Chapter 19: Gift

Oh my God. Oh my God. OH MY GOD. I screamed internally, making my way out of the LAL building. I was hurrying to get out of there before I lost it -and I was close to that. My legs moved quickly, my hands covering my mouth. What I had seen...it couldn't be forgotten. No way in hell could I erase that image. It was forever etched into my brain.

A very naked Jean Kirstein laid on that cot. He had posed differently than Professor Ackerman had. Where our stand-in had displayed himself very boldly, Jean carefully chose how he arranged himself. He chose to sit comfortably, crossing his right ankle to his left knee, leaning back as he rested his arms at shoulders' height on the cot. He had his head turned, his stare meeting the door. I didn't blame him for not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. But, with him glancing that way, I could admire his features.

Soft...gentle...smooth. Everything about him appeared relaxed. His sharp jawline was not flexed, and his shoulders were held back. His bare chest rose and fell steadily with each breath he drew. And though he looked so calm, I could see something in his eyes. They were avoiding me. He was purposely glimpsing at that door...which was so far from me. It was his exit...his escape. I could tell he no longer wanted to be there.

I shook my head. Why? WHY?? I glimpsed up at the sky. Why couldn't it have just been Professor Ackerman again? I recalled how he said he'd only cover one time and one time only. Oh yeah. That's why. I bit my bottom lip, still picturing Jean. I knew I shouldn't have -I knew it was wrong- but I just couldn't shove him out of my mind. It was almost irritating in a way. He wasn't my boyfriend. He wasn't even my friend, really. He had no reason to occupy any part of my mind. So...why was it that he did still claim regions? It didn't make sense.

I sighed haggardly and just focused on walking. I took confident strides, working to clear my thoughts to no avail. The more I tried to push Jean out of my mind, the more my attempts failed. It was like I was fighting a losing battle when a familiar voice caught my attention.

"Y/N," a warm voice called.

My throat went dry as my heart sank. Really? Right now? I squeezed my eyes shut. Today is so not my day. I worked to relax my face and turned, hoping that he would see I wasn't much up for company. Of course, easier said than done.

"Hey," he said, stopping in front of me. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Is it okay if we talk?"

I bit my bottom lip and nodded, "Sure, Eren."

He smiled and motioned for me to follow. Honestly, I didn't know what he wanted, but I trudged along behind him. There was no point in protesting. The sooner I entertained his conversation, the sooner I could continue on my way.

We reached a more quiet area on the campus and claimed a seat on an empty bench, prompting him to continue, "So, word around is that you're the one who found the girl who was attacked."

I knitted my brows in confusion. "How did you know that?"

"People talk," he shrugged, those silvery teal eyes landing on the scene before us. "Actually, not just people. I heard Jean talking to Marco about it. He said you were taking it kind of hard." He brought that gaze back to me, adding, "Are you okay?"

I could feel my face flush red. I was shocked that Eren wanted to see if I was okay, but more so...I was astonished that Jean would even talk about me. I wasn't Alexandra...I wasn't anything special to him. I was just me. I was just some random girl he met because I slid on ice too much. That was all.

"I-I'm fine," I stuttered. "I'm just fine." I chewed on my lips. "Eren...do you...do you know why they were talking about me?"

He blinked a few times and cuffed his hand on his chin, answering, "Well, from what I caught, Jean was one of the people who had heard someone yelling for help and was heading that way. He was in the crowd when the girl was loaded into the ambulance. Pretty sure he saw you." He brought his stare to me. "He said you looked wrecked from the whole thing. He thought you were a zombie. But, besides that, no. I don't know why they were talking about you."

I nodded, "I see. Yeah...it did mess me up a little, but nothing traumatic." I turned and flashed him a smile. "No need to worry about me."

He scanned me, his eyes skimming me as if he was searching for something. I didn't know what it was, but I was afraid of that gaze. I could tell just how observant they were. Almost as keen as...Jean's.

He must have given up because he sighed, "I also wanted to give you something."

"Oh? What would that be?" I asked, curious as to what it could be.

He shrugged his backpack off and unzipped it. He began to dig into it, searching through its content until he found what he was looking for. I watched as he began to pull out what it was he had, my eyes widening at what I saw.

My old sketchbook.

"How...how did you get that?" I asked numbly, pointing at the sketchbook.

He shrugged, "I found it at the ADA House."

I swallowed, "How do you know if it's mine?"

He scratched the back of his neck and answered, "Well, don't hate me, but I just saw it laying around. I thought it was Connie's, so I just opened it and began to go through it, but what I saw was not Connie's art style." He lowered his arm back down and tapped his fingertips against the book's back. "But, I recognized the art as your style. You have some really cool pieces in here, too."

I just blinked. All that time. I had almost forgotten all about that sketchbook. I had lost it so long ago, or at least it felt that way. It had been a while since I even thought about it. Out of sight, out of mind.

"Thanks," I replied, taking the sketchbook into my hands. It felt good to have it back. "Thanks again. Been looking for this." He doesn't need to know.

"No problem," he beamed. "Though, it was weird. It was just chilling in Jean's bedroom. Once I realized it was yours I asked him how he got it."

My heart sank. I was praying he wouldn't say that Jean knew I was the owner. I prayed and begged whatever power there was. I needed Jean to not know it was me who saw him and Alexandra that day. How I prayed.

"W-what did he say?" I stammered.

Eren shrugged his backpack back on and said, "He told me he didn't know it was yours. But, since it is yours, he just figured you'd want it back, so here ya go."

"Right," I swallowed. I hugged it close to me and pressed, "Why...why did he have you return it when he was the one who found it?"

"I guess because I recognized it," he answered. He climbed to his feet. "Anyway, sorry, but I gotta run. I'll see ya around."

"Right," I tried to smile.

He began to jog away, waving his farewells as I did the same. I just remained rooted on the bench, both my mind and heart racing. I stared down at my sketchbook, the memories of that day flooding back to me as the breeze blew.

Well, fucking hell.

**Bello my sweet lovelies! The sketchbook has been returned and the jig is up. Now Jean knows it was Y/N that day. Should be interesting to see how everything plays out now. Anyway, thank you so much for everything! Y'all are the bestest! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. Happy early Thanksgiving. :)