Until You Love Yourself // bieber

Chapter Three

I wiped my eye quickly as I rushed down to her level taking her in my arms, not a word was said between either of us at this moment in time. She had been so strong, pushing it away like it was a piece of dirt to her, not wanting anything to do with any of them. I knew she would stumble though, i knew she would.

My had gently rubbed up and down her back soothingly as she sat on my lap in a little ball, her knees to her chest as she sobbed softly into my t-shirt. I placed a soft, gentle kiss on the top of her head before resting my head on her's gently, guilt washing over me. What if I had come earlier like I was suppose to? What if I had walked home with her after all? none of this would of happened. 

I sighed deeply, another tear streaming down my face as I realized how broken she really was, she tried, she tried to act strong, the smile on her beautiful face wasn't real after all, how she told me she was getting better, and I believed it, 'Who made you do this?' I whispered softly anger slowly starting to build up inside of me.

she just replied with a shrug, a simple indication to me she could of just cracked. I frowned softly yet again, seeing a piece of paper in the corner of the room, folded neatly yet it had been scrunched up into a small ball and laid back out again.

I bit my lip as I reached over to the note, taking it in my hand slowly. My arm was wrapped around her torso firmly holding her in place so she didn't fall.My heart dropped at every word, reading the anonymous note slowly as I took it all in.

How everyone looked at her, what they all thought about her was in this stupid note, and she believed it all, every single word of it.  Anger boiled out of me wanting to know who had written this, a girl I suspected, by how neat the writing was and how bitchy the letter really was.

Tears spilled out of my eyes at this point just holding her, 'You know you're so beautiful, so amazing, so strong.' I whispered, my heart sinking as she shook her head, 'No i'm not.' she sobbed quietly, her mascara had run, black lines down her cheeks, her foundation was barley there, she was such an emotional mess.

'Yes you are, nothing in this letter is true, you know that.' I whispered trying to stay calm for her, staying as strong as I could whilst watching her break slowly. 'No I'm not Justin, you don't get it.' She cried softly before hiding her face from me, feeling it rest on my shoulder, 'You don't get it.' I heard her whisper softly rubbing her sides.

'Please Tara.' I whispered sighing deeply as I saw the cut on her arm, it was still bleeding, it wasn't that deep but it was deep enough to leave a scar. 'How many scars do you have?' I asked her softly feeling her bottom lip tremble agaisnt my broad shoulder. 'Show me.' I whispered softly as I stood her up, standing up next to her, holding her firmly as she slowly lifted her shirt.

My heart dropped, eyes widening as I saw about a million little scars on her stomach, my heart breaking. She turned to show me her side, lifting her skirt up to show me about fifteen to twenty scars on her left upper thigh. It felt like I had been shot, straight in the heart. My knees weakening as she continued to show me her scars. 

I stopped her, bending down on my knees before lifting her top back up again, taking my time to kiss each and every scar lovingly, a tear left my eye as I moved to her upper thigh, not caring about her underwear or anything like that right now, I just cared about her, wanting to make her feel loved again. 

I finally found the strength to stand back up on my feet, wrapping my arms around her tightly, and protectively not wanting to leave her side tonight. 'I want you to promise me one thing.' I whispered softly into her ear, running my hand through her messy, wavy hair. 'L-like what?' I heard her beautiful voice fill my ears.

'The next time you feel broken, the next time you feel like giving in, talk to me, please.' I whispered as I looked into her glassy, beautiful orbs, a tear slipping out of mine and falling down me face. 'Please Tara.' I whispered, 'I want to make you feel wanted, I want to make you feel loved, but I can't do that if you lock yourself away.' I continued.

'Don't waste your life on something that won't happen.' she whispered bitterly, making me sigh deeply. 'It's not wasting, and if it is, i wouldn't mind wasting my life on you, just to see you happy, even if it takes days, months, years even it's all worth it just to see your beautiful smile.' I whispered wiping a stray tear from her face.

'For you.' I heard her finally give in, a small, weak smile appearing on my face as I engulfed her tightly in my arms, holding her close to me. 'I love you.' I whispered knowing she knew I would only mean it since we were best friends, but honestly it meant so much more than that.