This is my story

Deconstruction

{I had this chapter a certain way, but i wanted to change it. This may be triggering.}
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I was with a person, and I liked another. I made a mistake, and reacted the way I thought I needed. I was torn and shattered.

Why can't you be normal!?

I screamed and screamed at myself in my head until I had a migrane. Then screamed at myself more. I resorted to cutting myself. A punishment meant for me. I cut as deep as I possibly could. I carved into my perfectly imperfect skin and bled. I bled the tears I held in for 4 years, and snapped.

Getting up, I opened my top drawer and grabbed my belt. I unfolded the belt, and looked up. I am short, the shelf is tall.

I hope this works, but it probably won't.

I hoped and wished while I strung up the belt. I grabbed a box to stand on, and made sure it was decent enough. I was sobbing, and put the loop around my neck. My actions leading up to this point flooded my eyes and I was blinded by hatred towards myself.

I finally let my body hang by the neck. I was staring out of my window, thinking about my family and who would find me. How my little brother would react.

My brother!

I instantly got up and down from my attempt and had a coughing fit.

My brother.

His name was my answer to "reasons you are alive" on my crisis plan. He is and was the one true boy who is keeping me alive. Everything else can go wrong, and I will still have him. He is my stability, and the main reason I'm still breathing today.