Fate's Exchange (Twisted Fate, Book 1)

Chapter Fifty-Four

"So, where do you want to meet for lunch?" Suzie asked as I navigated into a spot in the student parking lot.

Another week had passed, and after my dream, I'd been at school every day. Suzie was becoming an unlikely friend (re-friend?), a self-appointed guardian against gossip and the onslaught of curiosity. It was nice. This was the girl who had been my best friend for so many years.

"Main doors?"

Since deciding to return to Royal Academy, I refused to go out back or the side of the building—anywhere that reminded me of what happened—because if I let myself think of it, I would never make it through a day. If the school was on fire and it was my only escape route, I'd burn.

"How are you doing?"

I shrugged. She'd asked me the same question every morning, and I had yet to answer.

"On a scale of one to ten?"

"The same, I guess. No worse, so maybe a five?"

"There's a party tomorrow at Bryan's house," she said, and skipped around to meet me on the sidewalk leading into school. "Want to go?"

"I thought that those parties were exclusive, as in "invite only"?" I made finger quotes in the air, then slung my bag onto my shoulder and shook my head. "I can't go to one of those."

I stared at my feet as we walked to avoid seeing the people—students, teachers, parents—watching me like I was about to crack. I had become 'The Survivor', while David had become 'The Victim', both in school and in the news. Why couldn't people leave me, and the memory of David, alone? Like there wasn't enough craziness with what happened. I didn't need the constant reminder every time I walked out of my home.

"Bryan is Deryk's best friend, and you'll be coming with me. Of course, you're invited."

"I don't know." Being her friend again had instantly changed my social status—that and surviving the only murder to have ever happened on campus. The novelty would wear off, I knew—or at least hoped—and I would go back to my usual invisibility.

"It's hard, I know." She paused and looked around. "Well, I don't know exactly, but I can imagine it would be hard. I completely understand if you don't want to go. But sooner or later—"

"I have to move on?"

"Not quite what I was going to say, but basically the same party line. It takes time, but baby steps, right? You might not have fun right away. In fact, you'll probably go out at least a dozen times before you have fun."

"That isn't a winning argument."

"My point is that you can't expect to be happy," she said, pausing to wave at a group of friends. She put her hand on my arm to stop me and twisted sideways so that we were facing one another. "You'll have to work at finding happy again."

"Geez. When did you get wise?" I rolled my eyes and started walking, but then took her by surprise and said, "Fine. I'll go." She was right. I wouldn't find my new happy by hiding in the shadows of my room. "But I want to drive so that I have an easy escape."

"Seriously? You'll come?" She smiled in a way I used to hate, but now found contagious. "I can go with you and head home with Deryk if you bail. Oh, this is awesome!" She jumped in place, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet so that her shoes never left the ground, and clapped quietly.

Maybe for her it was awesome, but not so much for me. To willingly put myself in the clutches of a crowd? I must be crazy. "Can I ask you something?"

"As long as you don't change your mind about Bryan's party."

Her smile widened to reveal her perfectly straight, bleached-white teeth. I pulled open the door to Royal Academy and followed her inside the school where there were even more people to Alyssa-watch than there had been on our walk from the parking lot.

"Why do you want me to go? Being so... nice? You used to be surrounded by people, and this is the first time in two weeks that you've mentioned hanging out with anyone else besides me or Deryk."

She stopped walking to watch me, and I hugged my books to my chest, staring at the floor. "I don't have any one answer to that, Alyssa. I guess, when I realized what Tina went through, I just kinda gravitated back to you. None of my friends would understand. And then David died, and I wanted to help you."

"So you became my friend again out of pity?" That was worse than being alone.

"No. When David died I got to know you again, and now I want to hang out with you because I like you. I've had friends, yeah, but you're the first friend I've had who I can talk to without censoring myself in case it is turned into gossip. I've always known that's how it was between us, but I never really appreciated it before I joined the cheerleading squad. It took a whole year for me to understand the gossip and back-stabbing I had thrown myself into, but I'm sorry that I hurt you by doing that—and everything else I've done since then."

"If it helps, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." We walked to class and sat in our desks. I turned to look at her behind me. "You're a good friend." Tilting my head, I rolled my eyes towards the ceiling, and amended, "Well, at least you have been over the last couple of weeks, so thank you."

Suzie widened her eyes and dropped her mouth, raising her hands to affect a model's mock "surprise flattered" pose. Laughing, she sat straight again, dropping her hands, and smiled. "So how do you feel today?"

I nodded. "Much better. Like, maybe even a six now."