Chapter 26- Tears and Forgiveness

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Jordyn's P.O.V

I woke up a few hours after fall asleep. I'm exhausted, mentally and emotionally. But I guess that comes with a break up, huh? I laughed to myself.

There's different stages to a break up.

1. Crying
2. Depressed and more crying
3. Even more depressed
4. Angry and some crying
5. Revenge (sometimes)

And right now, I'm in stage 4. My phone started ringing and I knew the ring tone all too well, Corey.

"Hello?" I asked into the phone. "How's my best friend doin'?" Corey asked. I laughed, "Corey, I just seen you not even 24 hours ago." There was a pause before he spoke up, "that doesn't mean I don't miss you dude" he laughed.

Truth to be told, minus feeling angry I was quite happy. Corey asked if I wanted to hangout and I told him yes, I told him to give me an hour and I'd be over. I hung up the phone and put on real clothes. I grabbed a purple strapless crop top, black high waisted jean shorts, purple vans, and just left my hair straight with no makeup on.

It was warm out so I decided to walk to the house, I grabbed my keys and bag and left. It took about 20 minutes to walk to the house.

When I arrived I noticed everyone's car was there, including Brennen's and Colby's. My mood slowly went down, I haven't seen Colby or Brennen in a while and now... I'm kinda nervous. I texted Corey and asked him to open the gate for me, within seconds the front door came flying open and out ran a screaming Corey. "There she is! There she is! There! Right there is my best friend!" Corey yelled, I laughed.

Corey opened the gate and I ran into his open arms being crushed in an unbreathable hug. I heard footsteps from behind as Corey put me down, and every single roommate including Brennen was standing behind Corey with worried and confused looks. Once they all realized why Corey was screaming they all ran for hugs.

One by one I hugged every single one of my best friends, smiling and tearing up as I did. I know it's only been a day but what can I say? I missed them. There were two I didn't hug, and I'm sure you can guess which two. Everyone sensed a tension between the three.

"So, pretty girl, how have you been?" Devyn asked breaking the silence.
"Do you want the truth or do you want me to lie to you?" I asked only half joking. "Well the truth would be nice Jo" Sam replied. I groaned, "Let's go inside first" and with that everyone went into the living room and took a seat on the couch. I was last in, before I got too far I overheard Brennen and Colby...

"Dude, what happened?" Colby asked, his voice cracking.
"Nothing worth mentioning buddy" Brennen replied. I could hear the sadness in his voice.

As the roommates all sat on the couch, or the floor, I stood before them ready to answer Devyn's question from earlier. I noticed Aaron was missing and before I could ask he came running in with a chair so I didn't have to stand. "Thanks Aaron" I said with a smile, he smiled back and took a seat.

"Okay... so to answer your question Dev, it's only been a day since I haven't been living here so really, there's not much to say about it. I went to shower last night and cried, I laid in bed till Corey called and I cried, so I've pretty much been crying" I said with a small smile. They nodded before Sam spoke up.

"That's how you've been since yesterday, how about since it started?" He asked with hesitation. I sighed "I knew someone would ask that." I paused. "To tell you the truth... miserable, I've been miserable, confused, upset, angery, you name it... I've probably been it." I paused again and glanced at Colby, he had teary eyes which made me tear up.

"With being all that it didn't help with the depression which didn't help with the..." I trailed off. "With the what J?" Aaron asked. "With the cutting and the suicidal thoughts and such." They all looked worried and sad. "You started back up again Jordyn?" Brennen asked. I looked at him before replying, "I never stopped" I said in a quiet voice. I noticed Colby crying which broke my heart. "Don't cry Colby.." I said to him he glanced at me and gave a small smile, he dried his tears and kept his head up.

"How many?" Corey asked, somewhat mad. "How many what?" I asked sniffling. "How many cuts?" He asked again. I couldn't  remember the number and instead of waiting, I went for wet paper towels. I came back and everyone looked confused, I started wiping from my wrists and worked my way to my shoulder all the foundation coming off as I went and all of my cuts, old and new started showing through. All I heard was gasps, but the didn't stop. I kept going, this time I rolled up my jeans a little and wiped off all the makeup again, even more showed through.

"Jordyn, why, why did you let it get this bad?" Corey asked, tearing up. I looked down, before I mumbled, "it's not bad this time. It was worse before, it's my way of coping. When I get upset I use my razor. I use my paintbrush to paint my body, the outcome is the scars." I looked up, Devyn and Kat were crying on eachother, Aaron and Sam were in shock, Corey and Brennen were angry, and Colby... Colby was crying, hard enough to make his breath uneven.

"Jordyn... I-I-I'm sorry! This is all my fault! Had I not gotten wasted we'd be fine! You wouldn't be hurting yourself and we wouldn't be fighting! I'm so so sorry baby!" Colby yelled through tears. I started crying while looking at him, every memory flashed through my mind of us and I couldn't take it, I got up which made him glance up, through teary eyes I ran to Colby, throwing my lips onto his as my hands roamed through his hair, his hands grabbed my waist and didn't let go. We stood there for a while, lips locked onto eachother and hands not being kept to ourselves. We pulled away, teary eyed and breathless.

He rested his forehead on mine, I smiled and said "I missed that, so so much" he nodded, "but I missed you way more" I added.

I heard clapping and jerked away from Colby to see all the roommates laughing, smiling, and cheering on us. I finally felt at home again.

All today was, was tears and Forgiveness. My heart was finally full again. I hugged Colby with the biggest smile ever.

**************************

I was kinda crying with that when I wrote it haha. But I couldn't keep them apart any longer!

I'm sorry for not writing in like a month but with tests, school, and getting sick I didn't have time. I know I'm late but I hope all of you had an amazing Thanksgiving!

I love you! 💜

-J

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