A Guy Like Me (Gandrew)

I'm Going Home

A/N : Listen to "Somethings Gotta Give" By Camila Cabello in the first paragraph for extra feels.

Listen to "I Should Go" By Levi Kreis at the end

okay enjoy -- or something

Andrew

Weeks had gone by since Garrett's video had gone up and ripped my heart out. That had hurt more than I thought it would. I'm sitting in Shanes living room late at night, I refused to let myself hurt alone these days in fear of what it'd do to me long term. A part of me wanted to slap myself and tell myself to get over it. To get over Garrett, to stop feeling sad over what I didn't even understand. I was growing sick and tired of this feeling of impending doom looming over me and I knew it wasn't healthy to keep living this way, something would have to change. Something would have to give.

"I think... I think I have to go." Shane looks up from his computer.

"Go where? Home?"

"No, but yes." Shane shoots me a look.

"Andrew... You're scaring me. Where are you going?"

"Home."

"Home, home? As in Illinois home?"

"Yeah."

"What? For how long?"

"A couple months maybe? I don't know. I guess however long it takes for me to figure this shit out."

"That's so long Andrew..."

"I can't..." I stop talking, I can feel the lump forming in the back of my throat. "I can't be here anymore. I have to... I have to... I have to go. If I have any chance at surviving this, I have to go."

"You're sure?"

"It's the only solution that I can think of at this point."

"You're coming back though... Right?"

"Yeah, I mean eventually." I nod, of course, I would be back.

For the first time in months, I begin to feel a sense of relief, like everything was about to come together just right.

"You know... You know Garrett is not going to like this... Right?" I shake my head.

"I can't think about that, I've been worrying about him for too long. I have to... I have to focus on myself for at least a little bit."

"He's not going to understand, what are you going to say to him?" I shrug.

"He doesn't have to understand, if he's my friend he'll accept it." I take a deep breath, something in me felt strong. "Shane I... I think this is really what I have to do. For the first time in what seems like forever, I feel like... I don't even know like a weight has been lifted off of me like I can breathe again." And I know, this is what I have to do.

"When? When are you going?"

"Now."

"Wait, what? Now?"

"I mean if that's okay... We're done with the series, and I can edit at my house."

"Of course. Anything you need, you know we're here for you."

"So wait you said you're leaving now?? So no time for a going away party?"

"Ryland!!!"

"What? I wanted cake... Can we still get cake?" Shane rolls his eyes,

"Of course." He mutters, pecking Ryland on the cheek.

I laugh, hard for the first time in what seemed like a century. I stand up and realize I'm shaking, I  straighten my jacket, Shane stands as well, setting his computer aside, he clasps his hands over his mouth.