Holme Again

19

August passed in what seemed to be literally a flash. I went on bike rides with Toby, looked at insects and fabrics and my cheek and blood cells under my microscope, and read about chemical poisons. I also bought and read the A-Level Chemistry and Physics textbooks. There was work as well. More gardening; everyone trying to produce enough food to keep Britain going. I wished I could slow down time, make the summer into an eternity. I knew it wasn't possible, but I willed it every night before I went to sleep, just like an idiot.

September came though, and I got a text from my friend Bo, who's birthday was the third of September, to say that she was off to the lines. I was almost quaking, and I hated being scared of it. In the end though, all humans are scared of death to some degree.

Like August, September was gone before I realised, and we were into October. I tried to make the most of the time I had left, but my fate weighed down on me. There were no distractions.

The day before my birthday, I found I was no longer afraid. I must have used up all of my fear during the previous two months. I suddenly felt emboldened.

My birthday was fairly grim. In the morning, I had to go and sign up for conscription. After lunch, Toby came over for several hours. We spent the afternoon playing games, then went for a cycle in the dark. We laughed a lot, and I found myself thinking, not sadly, just resignedlyresignedly, that this would probably be the last opportunity in a long time.

On the twenty-ninth, I had to leave. I stood just outside, Mycroft on the doorstep, and we stood, looking at each other, for a long while. I was already in my uniform, and I felt like a toddler whose parents have dressed it up.

"Well, try to avoid dying."

"Is that sentiment? " I asked.I

"Sherlock wouldn't let me hear the last of it," he said, unemotionally. But I could tell that there was more to it than that.

"So hopefully I'll see you again."

"Yes, do your best. Goodbye, Magnus."

I have my best salute, then got into the waiting car, which took me to the station, just as it had done the reverse journey when I had arrived, just over a year ago. How things had changed since then.