The familiar feeling of being nervous
I had the butterflies in my stomach
The lump in my throat
My hands were shaking
I sat silent, letting my knee shake
Today was the first day I was meeting a man involved in my moms life
This was normal for some kids with divorced parents, but my situation was quite different.
From about the age of six to fourteen I was abused by my father.
It took him almost killing me in the basement for anyone to actually believe me, and it kills my mom everyday.
From the minute I told my mom I didn't want contact with men, she made that happen
An all girls school
I don't go to grocery stores
If I do go into town, which occasionally has to happen, I stay silent and my head stays down.
It may seem childish, but it feels much better than having an anxiety attack in the middle of Target because a man happened to raise his hands too close for my comfort.
About a month ago, my mom informed me of her boyfriend, stating that she really liked him, and this was her giving me time to think about it before I met him.
But today he was coming over- with his best friends specially to meet me.
"Do they know?" I asked, looking to my mom, who was drying plates.
"Yes, I've talked to Luke about it-" "and the others?"
"Luke will talk to them." She spoke, making me roll my eyes.
"Vanessa, they know how to handle this situation even more than I do, they're doctors, they won't do anything to upset you." She spoke, her hand running through my hair gently.
I sat at the barstool, looking to her silently.
"You're going to love them."
Luke.
"So her mom never got her the help needed after being in an abusive situation?" Calum question.
"At the time, there was only male doctors and Vanessa refused, her mom was waiting and eventually she just- forgot I guess" I spoke, watching the rode as I drove.
"How could a grown ass man hit his daughter from when she was six to fourteen, that's fucking nine years" Ashton spoke out loud.
"How could no one believe that he was hitting her when she begged for help for nine years?" Michael questioned back.
"They believed the adult over the kid"
We got to her house, where I parked, the four of us looking to each other.
"No yelling, no fast or big movements, no hugs" I spoke, seeing them nod.
"Let's go see how bad this really is"
