Loving Benjamin

Will I Ever Be Ready?

As I go through my day, two words are constantly causing my stomach to flip: formal asking. Right as the bell rings dismissing fifth period, I make my way to the front of school as Dara and Paul follow me. It is time to pick up my props for the big moment. 

The poster I spent hours on the night before reads, "Wanna kick it with me at..." with a small red foam soccer ball finishing the question, "FORMAL?"

 I see my mom parked in front and I run out to her, "Good luck." I smile and slowly inhale. Ben, Oyama, and Tim went near the back of the school to wait for me.

Even though I know he is out of sight, I am quickly getting scared. Taking the poster with me, I scurry through the school to the entryway. I'm not ready. Will I ever be ready?

We start to walk, slowly and nervously, but surely. I lose confidence again and I run away again. Paul and Dara follow me back out, laughing at how incapable I am to just suck it up and do it. Again, we head toward my locker. Even though he isn't anywhere near me, I feel the need to hide behind the poster.

I peek around the corner to where he's waiting. Once again, I recede into the shadows. "Ashley! You can do it!" Dara gives me the thumbs up.

"Oh my God! He's coming!" Paul excitedly shouts at me.

My nervousness overcomes my confidence and I slide down the bright red lockers and plop on the ground. "Can I just throw the poster at him and run away?" I nervously laugh at my unrealistic suggestion.

"Ashley! C'mon do it properly!" Dara reprimands. She is literally like my mother sometimes. I suck air into my lungs and stand up. C'mon Ashley, you can do this.

As I see him stride towards me with a wide smile stretching from ear to ear, "I CAN'T DO THIS!" I turn away from Ben as he lets out an exasperated sigh; dying from the anticipation on the inside.

"Oh! My! Gosh! Ashley just get it over with!" Paul exclaims impatiently.

This formal asking is going absolutely nowhere. As I stand timidly behind the poster, Ben jogs over to me and opens the poster himself to read it.

He wraps his comforting arms around me to embrace me in his happiness. All his weight shifts onto me and we start clumsily walking while he's back hugging me towards a crowd of cheering friends. Still embracing me, Ben whispers into my ear, "Yeah, let's go. And thank you for asking me."