letter #9

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Dear Jimin, 

The police came and brought me down for questioning today. They asked me if I knew your depression was relapsing and I said no because I knew you were seeing a therapist and you were getting better. I said you were getting better, you were smiling more often and you were doing what you loved. I said you no longer woke up crying, no longer had nightmares, no longer thought of dying.

But apparently..

I was wrong.

You stopped going to see your therapist months ago. You stopped taking your medications way before. Your smiles were fake. You danced to keep the pain away. You became pain tolerant. You stopped crying, yes, but on the outside. You still had nightmares. You killed yourself.

Were these all right? They can't be, right? I know you. I know you would never do this. You would talk to me about it. You would go on and on about your dance and I would listen no matter how tired I was because I loved that smile of yours when you talked about your day and your passion. You would not do this. The police are lying. 

Are they?

Love,
Jungkook.

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