Maybe It's Time

FEBRUARY, 2002 - PART TWO

Stefani's POV

There was this guy much older than me. I met him in a gas station, trying to buy beer with Bo. Of course the cashier knew we were both under 21. I saw that rocker coming and I asked the favor. He bought the beer for us but wanted my number in exchange. I found that awesome.

That's how he invited me for a date some weeks later. His name was Luc, a tall rocker guy, covered with tattoos, leather jacket, nice car and all. A dream man for many girls around my age. Not for me. All I wanted was eating for free, have some fun and tell my friends I was seeing a ten year older man.

Surprisingly, Luc didn't try doing anything to me. Not that I wanted him to try. I was not in a hurry to lose my virginity. I didn't think much about sex at that age. I was more concerned about playing the piano and writing my own music.

I was not talking to Bradley that often since he got admitted in the university. He came on weekends sometimes. He was following his dream to work in the cinema field. He didn't want to be an actor, but he loved the idea of being a director.

In the night Luc took me out to dinner, we had a nice time. I felt comfortable talking to him. He confessed it was weird for him going out with a teen and that didn't feel right. He was a nice man after all.

Luc drove me back home and I was not expecting him to kiss me. I guess I was too naive to think he would not. I ended that kiss when I realized it was getting frisky. I said goodbye and waited for him to start his car, then walked to my house. Suddenly, Bradley turned the lights on and I could see him. My legs were shaking a little like every time I saw him.

"You dyed your hair? He asked and didn't even say hi. I am not sure of what he saw but he didn't seem so happy. I hugged him and smiled after been sarcastic about his greetings.

When he told me Gloria got cancer I didn't know how to react very well. I am not the best person to comfort someone. The only thing I knew was that my parents had money to help and I was sure they would.

I decided to keep him some company and I don't know what was going on his mind but he offered me a bottle of beer. I drank it while talking to him. That beer had enough alcohol to make me say a lot of shit to him. I don't know what happened to me that I walked to where he was sitting and I kissed him. A real kiss, not like the one I gave him when I was 13.

Brad didn't stop me so I keep kissing him, when I felt his hands on my waist. I trembled when I felt his hands on me. I brought my hand to his face and touched his cheek, brushing it softly with my fingers. He leaned in and kissed me back tenderly.

The kiss didn't last long, and it wasn't the kind of soul-destroying kiss that we see in movies, but even so, I was glad it happened, and for whatever reason, I realized it was exactly what he'd wanted me to do but I was too embarrassed to stay there.

"Sorry". I said and left his bedroom, walking fast through the hallway. He didn't come after me. I guess we was too embarrassed as well.

I went home and had to hear my parents complaining that I should not stay out so late. In my room, I jumped into my bed and could not stop thinking about that kiss. I got up after a while and sit to write a song on my desk.

I stayed writing until midnight when I heard a noise on my window. I thought it was a thief and was ready to scream to death, when I realized it was Bradley throwing small rocks on the glass. I opened the window and made an ugly face to him.

"What the fuck?" I whispered trying not to wake my parents up. "I almost peed on my pants".

"Sorry... Didn't want to scare you but your parents are sleeping..."

"Alright... Come in then..."

"Open the front door".

"Nah, just jump in here. I don't wanna make noise and have to explain this to my parents". He rolled his eyes and got inside through the window. "Don't speak loud..." He sit in the chair I was sitting before and I closed the window. "Uh, well..."

"No, no, Stef! Let me talk first. I am still processing all this but you don't have to be sorry". I nodded and didn't look at him but I could feel his eyes staring me. "I think... That can't happen again. I like you a lot but it doesn't feel right".

"Wait... You saying you have feelings for me?"

"I can't lie, I am not sure, but even if I do that's not right!"

"Why not? Because I am child?" I was sarcastic.

"Exactly!"

"C'mon! You know I am more mature than most girls my age, also I will be legal next month". He laughed and I don't know if he found it funny or if we was nervous. Maybe both at the same time.

"You have any idea of what you are saying? It's not about being legal or not, Stefani! I don't want to ruin what we have. I love you too much and I don't wanna lose you because of a mistake".

"So you admit you have a thing for me..."

"Maybe we both are mistaking feelings. I am not in a good day and that's why I didn't stop you earlier".

"Oh my God, just shut up". I laid on my bed. "You are such a pussy". I heard that he sighed.

"Don't talk to me like that..." He got up.

"But that's the truth... You are scared of falling in love with me".

"I am not scared of something that won't happen!" He spoke louder.

"Shh... My parents... And I am not the one doing all this drama about a kiss. Fuck you, Bradley!".

"No, fuck you, Stefani!"

Surprisingly, he grabbed me by my wrists, making me get up, and kissed my lips. This kiss was harder and more passionate. He put his arm around my waist and drew me closer to him. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. It seemed he was in anger and that made the kiss even better. He got a taste of beer and cigarettes that made want more. He ended the kiss and pushed me, not hard, and I fell in my bed. I looked at him and shook my head.

"No one is scared here". He said.

"You are so childish sometimes. Go home!" He walked towards the window and I sighed watching him. "Wait..."

"What, Stefani?"

"Stay here... I am sorry".

"No... I am sorry for what I said". I hugged him and stayed that way for a while.

"Stay here, please!"

"Alright... Only because I want things to be ok between us". I smiled at him. "Don't call me pussy again..."

It was funny how we used to forget about our arguments easily. Once again, we pretended we never kissed. We talked for a while before sleeping, about his mother, his concerns and everything that was going through his mind. In that night I could see another Bradley. Behind that strong guy, who seemed to not let anything affect him, there was a very sensitive person, who gets emotional, who cries and has his weaknesses.

It was probably the first time I saw him crying and that killed me. I realized I wanted to protect him against anything. I didn't want things to that way but it was real. I was in love with my best friend.

To be continued...