Colonel Berry

Chapter Fifteen

David gradually calmed as Maria continued holding him, encouraging his catharsis with quiet words and gentle caresses. After a long while, he spoke, "That's all I was to her, wasn't it? A dildo."

He was quiet for a long time, regulating his breathing before speaking again, "She used me. I didn't use her."

"In his psychology lectures, Doctor Lemmer frequently reminds us that emotional wounds from childhood abuse are more difficult to heal than are the physical ones."

"But I wasn't a child then."

"You had just turned sixteen. That's still emotionally immature, and you had not yet finished your pubertal changes. You weren't aware of the conflict among mental, emotional and hormonal influences." Maria placed a series of kisses on his neck and shoulder. "She was aware of that, David, and she took advantage of your vulnerability."

"And increased my confusion. My fear of discovery."

"A man-sized penis but the rest of you little more than a child. She used the power and respect of her position to manipulate your immaturity."

"And to leave me with a jumble of shame, guilt and embarrassment."

"Exactly! Think about this. The men making remarks about your penis would dredge up unconscious memories from her abuse of it, and you then transfer her attitude to them."

David nodded as he released the grip on his calves and straightened his legs. "Strange, when I was in the hotel with Rick, I undressed in front of him to take a bath. No embarrassment at all."

"Had you seen his by that time?"

"Yes." David paused and nodded. "Yes, I had, and that would make the difference, wouldn't it? Unconsciously, I must have realised he wouldn't focus his interest on mine."

"And did he?"

"No. And we then had a factual discussion about size. The only one I've ever had."

"But, we've discussed size."

"Yes, I suppose. But those were to do with your personal interest in it." He shrugged. "That added to my embarrassment."

"Oh, God!" Maria winced. "Never meant anything but to compliment you — like I compliment your brilliant mind, your beard, your —"

David smothered the rest of her words with his lips, and they merged in a passionate embrace.

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After farewells to Bethia, Karl, Rachel and Georg, shortly past fifteen thirty, Maria steered the Lancia out of the courtyard and down the lane with David beside her. "So much easier than the lorry. These ruts used to take a toll on my arms."

Two kilometres along, as they passed a small farmhouse, David pointed and said, "Karl told me Schwarz had questioned his interest in Tante. Accused him of being after her fortune."

Maria laughed. "But Karl is far wealthier than she is. She might better be the one accused of gold-digging."

"But it goes back to Schwarz and his false accusations. He appears to target only French sympathisers."

Maria glanced over her shoulder at the receding farmhouse. "Is he still a threat? Could he uncover your activity?"

"Karl thinks so. As the Wachtmeister, he has influence, and with his relative freedom of access, he needs to be watched."

"How would you do that?"

"Karl has a small team assigned to it."

"He's important, isn't he? Maria laughed. "I mean Karl, not Schwarz."

"Yes, he is. I'm not sure yet how important, nor how large the network is, but I'll soon find out more."

"How so?"

David laughed. "Major Frankenthal, the Commandant, had asked to meet with me tomorrow. He knows Grandpa, and we've chatted a few times. Then this morning, after I had told Karl about this identity and about now doing the Army indoctrination, he told me Frankenthal is part of the network."

"You going to have another awkward situation like last night at dinner?"

"No, Karl wrote a note to him, tore it in two and gave me half. He's posting the other piece from town in the morning." David took his wallet from his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

Maria glanced it as she steered. "Read it to me. I need to focus on the road."

"Horst; One of your recruits runs spoke on Sunday. H involvement, and he will of this note."

"That makes no sense at all."

"Great! It's not meant to. But when Frankenthal places this piece beside his, it will."

"Clever."

"The note introduces us and verifies identities. And for security, neither half has any vital information on its own. Neither does the entire note offer any because of its nebulous, almost cryptic aspect."

"But he won't receive his piece until Tuesday morning's post."

"I'll tell Frau Ullman, his secretary, that I can't meet him until Tuesday noon. Karl told me Frankenthal identified me as a potential recruit for their team."

Maria laughed. "That should be fun when he realises..." She paused to think. "You're going to have to reveal your Canadian identity to him, aren't you?"

"Yes, Karl knows both of them now, and if we're all to work together, Frankenthal has to as well."

As they drove through Unterhallau, David pointed to the gasoline pump next to the hardware store. "Pull in here. There's still plenty in the tank to get you to Bern, but likely not enough to get you back to here."

"Your mind." She shook her head. "The details you keep in there. How do you calculate things such as this?"

"Experience. Knowing how far the car will go on a tank, knowing how far I've driven since I last filled, knowing how far it is to Bern."

"That's what I mean. All the details."

"But all the medical knowledge you've organised in your head? How do you account for the easy way you find and use that?"

"Interest. It's so simple with that which interests me."

"Exactly. And my interest is in safety and security. Part of that is not running out of fuel at a critical time. Even at an inconvenient one." He flipped a switch beside a gauge on the dashboard. "And this dial shows the level of fuel in the tank. Much easier than the dipstick on the lorry."

"That's another one to switch off, isn't it? Not to drain the battery."

"I now leave it off except when I want to check." He shrugged. " I left it on for the past four weeks, and the battery was near flat yesterday."

With the tank refilled and paid for, they continued along to Schaffhausen, David directing Maria toward the Zeughaus and having her stop in a quiet side street a few blocks short for a parting kiss. A long and deeply passionate one.

Then she drove the final blocks to the front of the armoury where they sat quietly talking for several minutes before David sighed as he leaned to kiss Maria's cheek. "It's only five days this time."

He took his satchel from the back seat and walked toward the Zeughaus doors as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.