So Many Agoes

2013

October

The clink of dishes being put away echoed around Emilienne and I's kitchen as we cleaned up after dinner. We had the window over our sink opened, letting in the cool early October evening breeze ruffle the herbs that were drying overhead, the very last reminiscence of crickets and cicadas faintly chirped about, indicating that warm weather was saying goodbye.

Our granddaughter sat perched on the peninsula asking us about our young lives while she put away dishes that were on the top shelves. Mai was just around ten years old and her personality was really starting to blossom; it was expected when her parents were as fierce, loud and passionate as Denise and Salma were.

She had been having a tough time at school, some of her teachers didn't like that she had two moms, and absolutely hated that Mai was already exploring her sexuality and telling everyone that she identified as bisexual.

Emilienne decided to tell her the story of when our apartment was robbed and spray painted just because we were being true to ourselves and who we loved. Emilienne was putting the leftovers of our joumou soup dinner into containers while she spoke,

"That whole situation was very difficult, while our items were absolutely replaceable, it was so saddening to know that someone hated us so much that they'd damage our property and wish harm on me, all because we loved each other and started a family"

"What did you and grandpa do about it?"

"We held onto each other and we didn't let go. We didn't want them to take our power away from us, which is exactly what their goal was. In fact, about five months after that while I was cleaning one day, I found a piece of drywall behind our bed that must've fallen back there when the people who broke in broke some of the wall. It was still spray painted. At that point we actually knew who had done it and were no longer fully shaken up about it, so I kept it and went so far as to attach it to a safety pin and put it on my backpack for the remainder of the school year. The people who did it turned out to be people that attended the same college as us and had to see me wear that like a token on my backpack for the rest of the school year."

Emilienne stopped what she was doing and put down her wooden ladle. She gave Mai a kiss on the cheek and said, "wait here" as she disappeared towards the stairs at the front of the old house. The two of us could hear the floor boards creaking as she swiftly and gracefully made her way up them. Mai looked at me, bewilderment clear on her face. I just shrugged dramatically and she giggled childishly.

It wasn't long before Emilienne returned, with a small burlap bag in her hand, one I personally hadn't seen for ages and was unaware we still had. She pulled the drawstring and tipped the bag over to let the piece of drywall she had spoken of fall out. It was shiny, as if she had put a protective coating on it to keep it from crumbling throughout the years.

She put it in Mai's tiny hands and closed them around it,

"It's yours now. Keep it with you so you know you're not alone, and that you deserve every bit of love and light and laughter as the next person does no matter what your teachers or peers tell you."

Mai turned the piece of wall over in her hands to examen it before speaking,

"Moms are fighting the school district and asking for the teachers who have said things to me to be fired, but they don't want to listen to my moms. It's not fair, I just want to bring both my moms to parent teacher conferences and not have everyone stare at me like I'm weird. And it's even worse when they visit my math teacher, she's so mean and even tried lying to them about how I act in school."

I pulled Mai into a tight hug,

"I know it's hard, and you don't deserve to be treated like that at all. But just know that you have all the love and support you could ever need at home, and at the end of the day, those people that judge you don't matter. And also know that you're allowed to stand up for yourself. Even if the people at school don't like it, we'll always celebrate you"

She nodded and kissed my cheek,

"Thank you grandma for the drywall"

Emilienne and I laughed,

"You know you can always ask us or your moms for help, we'll always be a phone call away. Now let's get ready for bed, I know for a fact that Adventure Time is waiting for you in your pillow fort!"

Suddenly no longer plagued by the injustices of life, she excitedly gasped and hopped off the counter, running towards the stairs,

"C'mon! I wanna get ready for bed now! Grandpa, bring the cookies we made, we can't forget those!"

Emilienne and I shared a happy look, we both knew that she would be okay, regardless of how ridiculous her teachers were and for that we were grateful and hopeful that it would all end up for the better. I grabbed the tin of cookies we had baked earlier that afternoon and jogged after her, laughing.

The three of us got ready for bed and holed up in the pillow and blanket fort we had made, the TV moved onto the floor so we could watch as a family. Mai happily flipped through Netflix looking for Adventure Time, her favorite show.

We all settled in, Emilienne resting her head on my lap while I twirled her soft coiled hair around my fingers and Mai resting her head on Emilienne's stomach with pillow propping her up.

Sometime later with Emilienne comfortably asleep, I caught Mai toying with her new gift,

"Are you doing okay over there?"

She nodded,

"I can't wait to show this to my moms. I miss them"

I smiled and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead,

"I know, but they'll be back before you know it, and hopefully they'll be back with your new little brother!"

Salma and Denise had taken a trip all the way out to Albuquerque, New Mexico to attempt to adopt a new child, a little boy from Guyana. It was proving more difficult than expected and so Mai was staying with us for at the very least another week.

Mai was beyond excited to meet her new little brother and had been making a care package full of her little DIY crafts and candy and coloring books that we worked on when she wasn't in school.

Mai nodded, her long black hair falling in front of her face softly,

"Do you think he'll like me?"

"What's not to like? You're a creative, intelligent, outgoing and fearless young lady, he'd be crazy if he didn't. I think you two will be the best of friends"

She smiled up at me sweetly,

"Okay, enough sadness, back to watching Adventure Time"

I let out a low chuckle and ruffled her hair, with her little hands swatting at my large ones as we settled in to continue our weekend marathon.