Langst Oneshots

★ lonely {vent} ★

lance woke up in his dark room by himself, feeling like he had just worked out but had somehow gained weight.

he sighed and got out of bed, running his hand through his curly hair. he felt disgusting and fat. he went to go take a shower, even though that would only fix half of the problem.

he spent ten or fifteen minutes in the shower before stepping out, washing his face, drying his hair, and putting on his clothes. he was too tired to straighten his hair or put on makeup. it wasn't even worth it in the long run. when he finished, it was already eight in the morning, the others would surely be up and about, just waiting for the chance to chastise him on his tardiness.

he looked in the mirror one last time, completelyy unsatisfied with the person who stared back at him. he could already tell that it was just going to be one of those days.

much to lance's surprise, he had not been scolded the second he walked into the kitchen for breakfast. in fact, none of the other paladins were even there. the only trace that they had even existed were their dirty plates piled up by the kitchen sink. lance grabbed himself a microwavable plate to warm up the paladin's table scraps, only to find that they hadn't saved him anything. looks like he would be having food goo this morning.

breakfast was quiet. when lance was done, he rinsed off his plate of the remaining food goo and started towards the common room, where most of the paladin's would be.

as soon as he stepped into the common room, he wanted out.

everyone was paired off and was far too busy for lance to even attempt to join conversation. allura and coran in the corner, keith and shiro on the couch, and hunk and pidge nerding out at the table. and then there was lance, standing frozen in the back by himself. he was about to turn and leave, when he heard his name being called by none other than keith kogane.

"nice of you to finally grace us with your presence, lance," he said with a smirk. lance had visibly tensed and tried desperately to think of something he would usually say in response.

lance wanted - no, needed out.

his throat had seemed to shut down completely, not allowing even a croak to escape his lips. he had stopped breathing, he didn't know when, and had to pinch himself in order to remember how to breathe.

once lance had regained control of his body, he managed to fake an arrogant reply. "the pleasure is all mine, mullet."

keith had smiled, scoffed, and turned back towards shiro.

lance's control had slipped from under his finger tips and he felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into his little pit of sadness.

every heartbeat pumped acid into his veins, his heart burned and crumpled into a little ball of nothingness, his throat had closed, his eyes stung, his jaw started to shake and he heard a faint ringing in his ears.

lance bit his lip. should he leave or stay? would anybody notice if he left or would everyone pity him if he stayed, sitting alone on the couch wallowing in his own misery while they tried to have a good time?

the thought of being a burden to his teammates only made him tear up more. if he stayed, he would surely start crying. so, he retreated into the safety of his own room where he started to cry. he sank down to the floor and curled up into a little ball as tears started to flow slowly down his face. he tried to imagine his mama hugging him and comforting him to make him feel better, but that just made him cry harder.

it seemed like mere seconds since the tears had started, and lance was actually disappointed in himself that he didn't let any feelings, not even loneliness, last any longer than a few minutes.

now he was sitting on the floor of his room with tear stains and messy hair. just moments ago he had wanted to rip his heart out to try and stop the pain, even for a bit, but now it felt as if he had no heart at all. instead of a heart, there would just be a dull, black gaping hole over his entire chest that would swallow his heart whole.

lance made no move to get off the floor or to even move at all. why should he? it's not like anybody needed him anyways. surely nobody would miss him if he were to just... vanish.