"Pupunta na kami ng canteen, Mark. Sama ka?" Aya ni Jessie sa akin. Kakatapos lang namin sa Computer Lab kaya ayun dadaan sila ng canteen para bumili ng pagkain bago pupunta ng klase.
"Hindi na. Mauna na ako sa taas." Sabi ko sa kanila tapos naglakad na ako patungo klase. Nababother parin ako sa sarili ko at sa feelings ko para kay Jenny. Tatapusin ko na nga ba? O ipagpatuloy ko 'to?
Zero chances.
I sighed to myself. God, just give me a sign and I'll--
"Uy, may plano ka bang sagutin si Mark?" Boses yun ni Chacha diba? Nasa doorway na ako at papasok na sana ako ng classroom pero bumungad naman ang boses ni Cha.
"Kailangan ba nating pag-usapan yan?"
Si Jenny!
"Syempre naman girl. 6 years na, isipin mo. Sus, kung type ko lang talaga si Mark no tapos ako ang niligawan for 6 years, baka hindi aabot ng 6 years 'yang panliligaw niya sa'kin eh!" Tawang sabi ni Cha.
Bigla akong napalunok ng bato sa nadidiring reply ni Jenny. "Sa'yo na yun! Hayst! Grabe, punong-puno na ako sa Mark na yan eh! Ang baduy-baduy! Oo, maeffort nga siya pero hindi ko talaga type si Mark eh. Matagal ko nang sinasabihan yung mokong na yun na tigilan na ako pero tanga-tanga din eh!"
"Huy grabe ka naman..."
"Alam ko! Pero honestly, no. I'm not going to answer to him. Moreover, I wish he could just, what, leave me alone!"
Sigh.
"I wish I just have the courage to outright tell him that I do not like him, and that he'd stop pestering me!"
Sigh.
"Oh sige na Jen, the next time you see him you tell him--"
Shit. Nakita ako ni Cha.
Cha had a look of horror on her face, couldn't believe that I was there on the doorway, listening to their conversation. Sumunod si Jenny na nakita ako at for the first time, nakita ko ang mukha ni Jenny na napaka-priceless. Mas priceless pa sa ibang reactions niya before.
Somehow, before I knew it, bigla na lang tumulo yung mga luha ko. I know it wasn't manly to cry, but well...what could I do? Yung taong mahal ko naman ay sinaktan ako. Indirectly.
Natawa ako. "Haha...sorry, oh god, I didn't mean to eavesdrop...Uh, hahaha...mauna na ako. Library diba tayo next?" Sabi ko with a smile, but my tears wouldn't stop. Napakabading tingnan, pero ang feeling kasi, parang namanhid ako bigla.
"Ay, kukunin ko muna yung notebook ko. Mauna na kayo." Sabi ko sabay pasok sa room, leaving the girls alone. Thank god, no one was inside. If there were other people inside who have heard them, I would've sued myself outside earlier.
Maybe I could sue myself now.
This was it. The fruit of my labor. But it's not just any fruit. It was a rotten one. Eto ang napala ko. The things I did, the love for her that I've built up for 6 years.
Wow. six years.
Tumawa ako bigla. As in yung super lakas. Tutal, wala naman sila Jessie at Krissha para mag-gloat. Wala naman ang mga kaklase ko na para tawanan ako. Wala naman si Jenny na tabuyin ako.
Ah, hindi na pala. Tapos na eh. This was the sign I was hoping for. I asked for it, so I got it.
Ano pa ba yung gusto mo, Mark?
Biglang nag ring yung phone ko, the music of my ringtone resounded inside the classroom. Tiningnan ko yung caller ID and it was Krissha. Maybe they're looking for me. I locked the door, you see. I thought na nasa Library na lahat, then I found Cha and Jenny, but they left so here I thought I was alone, with me locking the doors and have the room all for myself.
Ilang awit pa ba ang aawitin, o giliw ko?
Ilang ulit pa ba ang uulitin, o giliw ko?
Tatlong oras na akong nagpapacute sa iyo
Di mo man lang napapansin ang bagong t-shirt ko
Ilang isaw pa ba ang kakainin, o giliw ko?
Ilang tanzan pa ba ang iipunin, o giliw ko?
Gagawin ko ang lahat pati ang thesis mo
Wag mo lang ipagkait ang hinahanap ko
I laughed at my own ringtone. Hindi ko alam na Ligaya pala ng Eraserheads yung ringtone ko. Funny, I suddenly hated the song so much despite the fact that I'm such a huge fan of the band, and the song itself. Para bang nakarelate ako sa song all of the sudden, and it made me hate myself too for a moment there, dahil hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na magpakatanga. I hated myself for not listening to my friends. I hated myself for loving a person who doesn't even love me...
Hindi ko na pinatapos ang kanta, I answered the call.
BINABASA MO ANG
MY CHOICE AND MY HAPPINESS
Short StoryI'm stuck between giving up or try harder. I'm stuck between taking the risk or losing this chance. It's a battle of happiness and self-worth. It's where Mark tries to get all Jenny's attention with what he can only do. But the question is, is it en...
