Chasing Heaven

The Misunderstanding.

Laurent and I have been together for almost a year and a half we haven't had as much as an argument. My Momma says there's no such thing as a perfect relationship and that saying reigned true today. It was a misunderstanding on my part. I happen to be trying to surprise Laurent when I saw him with another woman. I couldn't believe my eyes not my perfect angel. Instead of doing the grown up thing and asking him who she was. Instead I did the me thing and made assumptions. I was so upset that I left the car he brought me in front of the restaurant I saw him at. I walked to my old apartment. It was a 45 minute walk. I was so upset I didn't even get tired. I unlocked the door and made a beeline for my bedroom. The scent of his cologne lingered in the sheets. I curled up to it and cried myself to sleep. It was maybe 5 hours later when I was pulled out of my sleep from my phone going off.

"Heaven I see you car but I non find you. Call me I worry?"

"Belle please answer."

"Heaven where are you? I went home you non there."

He sent over fifty texts and left so many messages my voicemail was full. I refused to call him or text him back. I heard the lock to the front door click.
FUCK! I forgot I gave him a key to this apartment. I sat on my bed trying to wipe the tears from my eyes. He came straight back to my bedroom. I stared out the window not wanting to look at him.
"I looking for you all night Heaven why you non answer you phone."
I remained silent. He walked around the bed and saw my tear stained face. He bent down on his knees in between legs and wiped my eyes.
"Why you cry?"
"I saw you with her today Lau. I'm not even mad at you. I'm mad at me for being so naive."
He laughed so hard he choked.
"You think breaking my heart is funny?"
"Non of course not."
"Then what the hell do you find so hilarious."
"Heaven you get wrong idea."
I raised my eyebrows in confusion. He continued to laugh.
I found none of this amusing. I was losing my patience. He now on the floor gasping for air because he was laughing so hard. I stood with my arms folded tapping my foot.
"You so sexy when you mad Belle."
I was ready to kill him now. No this frigga was not sitting here laughing at me when I caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.
"LAURENT!!"
"Ok ok she was the wedding planner. We have to go for meeting tomorrow."
At first I didn't believe him. He pulled her up on the computer. It was the woman alright. I felt like a total jackass.
If you leave car at restaurant how you get home?"
"I walked."
He laughed some more. He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked me deep in my eyes.
"Heaven I love you and only you.
You never have for worry about anyone taking you place."
I smiled. He was the perfect man.
"I'm sorry babe for making you worry and for accusing you of cheating."
"Is okay I non can stay mad at you."
He kissed my forehead.
"Come on let's go home." He said extending his hand.
I felt like the biggest idiot in the world. My trust issues run deep. I needed to get that in check. Laurent never gave me a reason not to trust him but I've been hurt so many times I always think the worse. I closed my eyes as we continued to drive home. When we got home I went straight to bed. He layed beside me. I stared at the ceiling. I had a lot of unresolved issues I needed to talk to someone about. The problem was I didn't trust a soul.
"Heaven I know."
"Huh?"
"Your mom told me everything you been through. You so strong. I non know anybody who could go through that and come out as strong as you. You are amazing woman. I so lucky you in my life and us going to be married. Non let the past dictate you future. I can't promise us going to never have problems us human. But I do know that I love you undeniably. Every morning I wake up and I see you beautiful face I feel blessed. When I non with you I think about you. I love every piece of you."
As he spoke tears rolled down my cheeks. Despite how damaged I thought I was he still loved me. He turned on his side reaching over and wiping my face.
"I non want you to cry no more. I want you for to be happy. I going spend every minute non second of every day making sure you always smile."
I laid my head on his chest he ran his fingers through my hair as my tears ran down his abdomen.
The rest of the night we just laid there in silence. I cried vowing that tonight was going to be the night I let go all of the pain. I was going to allow myself to heal. Laurent allowed me to just cry and let go. He didn't judge me or call me weak. He didn't make me feel like I was wrong for being human. After I cried to the point that not another tear could leave my eye I was finally ready to talk. I spoke barely above a whisper.
"I want to thank you."
He smiled " what for?"
"For allowing me to let go."
"I always here for you Bébé. No matter what."
I smiled it was the first time I had all day.
He wrapped me in his arms tighter. I was emotionally drained. I cuddled up to him and closed my eyes. I felt his fingertips on my scalp. It was so soothing. The sound of his heartbeat so melodic. His breath on the back of my neck so warm and sweet. My body relaxed and sleep soon took over.
"Mon Belle you are more beautiful than you know. You just need to open you beautiful eyes and see that." He whispered in my ear. He laid his head on top of mine and fell asleep.

The next morning my throat was raw my eyes red and puffy. Even though I had slept all night my body still was tired and sore. I looked to my right and Laurent was missing. I called out for him but my voice was no louder than a whisper. Finally I heard footsteps coming towards the room. Lau had two cups in his hands.
"Here ma cherie you gonna need this."
"Thank you." I attempted to say.
He laughed as I struggled to talk.
I didn't want to get out of bed today. I was in so much pain. Lau went to the bathroom and ran us a bath. Once it was done, I tried to stand but wound up falling back on the bed. He came back in the bedroom and gently undressed me and carried me to the bath tub. After he got me inside the tub he took off his clothes and got in. He pulled my legs around him and massaged my thighs and calf. I wrapped my legs around his waist . I kissed his lips. He leaned his back against the tub. I laid my body on his and closed my eyes. He was my safe haven with him I felt free. I let my stress melt away with the water and the touch of his hand.