Dear Journal,
My heart aches. I wanted to yell at the stars but they hid. I wanted to yell at the moon but she hid. I've been betrayed. Lied to. Used. It rained that night, feeling such powerful things I influenced the weather. I cried with the rain. I yelled at god. I yelled at the stars and the moon and the sun and the blue of the sky. They all hid, fearing my wrath. It's easier to blame the moon and things than yourself. Pain is a strange emotion, it's stronger than any other emotion. Pain weighs you down, makes your chest feel heavy and your stomach churn. It crawls under your skin, making you itch. It makes you feel empty and gone. It makes your feet grow into the ground, roots growing over you. Entering you with their poison, taking all of you. Consuming you in the feeling. Pain makes you feel like a shell of a human. Makes you disconnect and take you to a place where all you feel in numbness. A black space. A empty place. An unknowing space.
- Estelle
