Dear Journal,
I want to run away. I have this urge to throw away everything I have, start all over again and then repeat. I can do it at any moment. Most people say you can't. That's a lie. You can, but it'd be erratic to do so. Is it self centered to do that? Or brave? Or stupid? It depends on how you look at it- everything is about perspective. Maybe it's not the urge to run away but to have something different, to change. I think I've just had an epiphany; a sudden moment of realization. Of what? I don't know. Maybe that change is inevitable and fighting against it is a loosing battle. But change is hard. Especially when you are attached to the person you were or the way things use to be. Most are afraid of change, of the unknown. Of the insecurity. I am also afraid but at the same time completely infatuated with change. With the future. How things could be. With change, with things unknown there is potential to grow, to be better. To do everything you want, to be whomever you want. I'm beginning to learn change isn't something you can or should run from. If the change is good, you should embrace it with open arms. As my mother says, hope for the best but except the worst.
- Estelle
