Thoughts of someone who's gonna explore

Life

Okay so tonight I'm kinda in philosophical mode. And you know, I wonder, am I the only one? 

I've always been awfully aware of time passing, and I know one day I won't be in this world anymore, and maybe if internet still exists kids in a hundred years will be able to read this, without having a clue of who I was. I don't really know how to explain. 

It's like, don't you ever wonder how you're gonna see the world when you're old, what it's gonna feel like... doesn't it scare you? 

I hate when I feel like this because I question everything and it's fucking exhausting. When I feel like this, I wanna cry. Not because I'm sad, but just 'cause it's too much, far too much. All of these questions, hopes, feelings, it's just too much. It comes suddenly across my mind and i won't go away. 

I hate time. 'Cause I know one day time will take away from me everything I love, my parents, my memories, my youth, my friends, my dreams. 

Maybe even who I am. Annnnd now great, I'm thinking, do I even matter? Will I be remembered in a thousand years? Probably not. Nobody is gonna know about the things I like, my secrets, what I think, the person that I am. And the same goes for you. 

We'll be forgotten. And we can't do anything about it right now, and we've forgotten so many people this way. I hate it. Kinda. 

I wish I could stop wondering, don't you? I wish I could stop seeing things with so much nostalgy, poetry, I wish I could stop that. It hurts kinda and also it's a bit hard to live with. I feel like people don't get it and it makes me so mad. Like I'm probably the only one thinking this way, you know? 

I'm talking to you, but really it's not like it's reaching anyone. Thats also why I wanna change the world. When I'm useful, it gives a purpose to my life. And I like that. 

CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME? 

Nop. Probably not. Or maybe yes. 

But whatever. 

I'll probably talk to you later. 

G'bye.