fade to gray (frank ocean)

super rich kids.

     teenage anise on the side.

       "hi, welcome to joe's! what can i get for you today? can i start you all off with something to drink?" i chirped to the customers. these were a family of four - a mom, a dad, and two daughters that were adorable. one daughter was about six or seven years old with missing front teeth but the most vibrant smile ever, nappy pigtails and cocoa brown skin. same color as His. 

stop.

       "wow, you're really pretty, mith." the seven year old said. "can i get some apple juith, pleathe? and no ithe? i don't like how it feelth on my gumth, it make them feel too freezy." she shivered for emphasis. 

i genuinely chuckled and wrote down what she wanted. "apple juice and no ice. no ice, no freezy gums. that would be a disaster. now, what about you, little angel?"

"ummmmm........" she looked at her mother, who despite an obvious lack of sleep (seen in the bags under her eyes) smiled at her. "mommy, what do you get me?"

       "milk for her would be fine, miss. and for me, i'd just like a water." this woman was pecan colored with tired hazel eyes, and they filled with love when she asked the man i assumed was her husband, "what you wanna drink, baby?"

"since it's late, i'll take a water as well." he kissed her forehead.

       i scribbled their orders down. "alright, i'll be right back with y'all's orders." i felt her husband's eyes on me as i walked away, and snarled to myself. she seemed so into him and so in love. why would he even look at some other bitch who'd give him nothing but problems anyway? dumb nigga. stay at home, stay in ya lane.

       i filled up their drinks, came back and took their orders back to the kitchen. hubby wanted a steak, wifey wanted a hamburger, little miss freezy gums wanted chicken fingers and babygirl got a grilled cheese, no tomato soup on the side. "aye teej, here's the orders!" t.j. was the head cook here, and from what butterscotch told me, he had a thing for me. oh well. i didn't even look at people when i passed by, since He still had my fucking heart. every piece of it, on the ground and stomped on or not.

      "thanks, jas." he winked and got to work. i fake smiled, since some nights he was my ride home, but once i turned away from him i snarled. he has me fucked up if he think i'm gone pop someday.

       the wait on their orders weren't too long, so once they left, i got tipped with a twenty. i felt dirty taking it since i know it was from him and his trifling ass, but i had to survive. 8:14 PM, not shit to do. the main customers at this time of night had came and left already. the tables were clean, dishes washed, so really all of us working this shift were idle.

      "goodnight, you guys," joe, my boss and owner of the place, waved to us. "take care, and you all can take a break now. thanks for working so hard." joe was an older white dude with serious bank, but he worked for it all of his life, so he had my respect. he never had anything mean to say, and treated us all like his kids. "'you wear that yellow apron with my name on it, you're family. always.'" he'd say. tonight, he pulled his coat on and smiled at all of us, then left.

       i wish dad would've been more like joe while i still lived at home with my parents, i thought as i slumped out to the back to go smoke a cigarette.  more love would've been nice. lack of love at home was part of the reason i looked for it in all the wrong places, and after failing, i found weed. not my highest moment but it sure as hell ain't my lowest.

"you look stressed, jas." t.j. stated, sitting next to me.

       "looks can be deceiving, baby." i spoke after i took a slow drag of the cigarette. i watched the smoke slide from my lips and dance into the rain for a second until it curled up and died more with every raindrop.