Blood Brothers

28 | FORGIVENESS

Love?

Was I capable of loving another person?

I was sure that I loved Taehyung, but being in love was a completely different story. I loved him and everything he managed to make me feel. But being in love with him, being with him- I wasn't sure I could do it.

The feeling of being ripped apart from Jungkook; it nearly tore me to pieces. That pain, it wasn't easy to recover from. I was SCARED to every feel that way again. And after today, I was sure that it'd eventually happen again.

Taehyung was reckless and that was why I could never be with him the way he wanted me to.

I could indulge in him and everything he made me feel, but I will never become consumed with him.

That's what I've established with myself.

"I don't want to forgive you," I tell him. "Because you really fucked up, Taehyung."

I could see the tears building up his already swollen eyes that were various hues of red, he was on the verge of crying- a sight I'd never thought I'd see in this lifetime. He looks away to allow the tears to fall just so he could wipe them away without me noticing, he then wipes his nose followed by sniffling before looking back at me.

"Don't leave me," he pleads.

It wasn't like I could even if I tried- and I've tried. 

"You never let me have that choice," I reminded him. "Remember that you'd rather have me stay, even if I means I'll hate you."

He's struck at my words and his eyes mirror it. "Ara... baby, please," he begs. He's hugging me now, tighter than ever- more sincere than all the times before. It was as though he knew that it'd be his last time holding me and he made the most of it.

But when he starts crying, I knew that I couldn't let it be.

So I hug him back, my hands running through his hair as he dampens my shirt with his tears. His face is planted against my stomach and I could feel his breathing hitch through the tears that knotted his throat.

"I'm sorry," he says once more.

"Just... don't do it again," I sigh, knowing that I was too forgiving.