Dear Even Hansen

Chapter two

Once again I was pushed off the swing. I guess Jared didn't see that Connor was with me. Connor leaped off the swing and face the perpetrator. Jared took a step back. I noticed that Evan wasn't with him.

"I told you to leave her alone!" Connor yelled at him and got ready to punch him. I quickly stood and rushed to Connor side. I rested a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm okay Connor, it's not worth it," I tried to calm him down.

"But he pushed you!"

"Yes what he did was wrong but attacking him isn't going to fix things, let's just go somewhere else okay?" Jared was ready to piss himself, but I managed to calm Connor down and take him to another part of the playground far away from Jared. We sit down on one of the ramps on the jungle gym and dangle our legs off the side.

"Why did you get so angry?" I asked.

"Because he hurt you," I looked at him. He looked away and blushed, embarrassed.

"Next time, just don't hit them okay?" I give him a stern but soft look.

"But-" I furrow my brows in a glare. "Okay... But I don't like people hurting you," I smile.

"You shouldn't, but that doesn't mean you should hurt others," Connor looks down.

"Sorry..." I smile brighter.

"I accept your apology, now let's find something to do," I stand and offer my hand. He takes it and I help him stand and we go find something to do.

.
.
.

We're back in the classroom during work time. I already finished my work when the teacher was explaining it. So I was currently doodling on the corners of my worksheet. I flipped it over to the back where it's blank and start to draw. It's a good thing my skill level didn't diminish. I was finishing my fox drawing when the teacher walked by.

"Finished already Devin?" I nodded. "Let me see," I flipped the page over and let her correct it. No surprise I got a 100%. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised, good job," she marked my grade on a paper she was caring then walked away. I was going to work on my fox drawing again but I felt some one poke me in the back. I look back and see Connor leaning over his desk to reach me. "Can you help me? I don't get it," I smile.

"I'll gladly help you, what part don't you get?"

"All of it," I scratch my head and try to think of a way to explain it to him. And that's what I do. I patiently explain what to do and go through it step by step with him until he understands. When ever his frustration began to rise I instructed him to take a short break. It helped him stay much calmer. I used the same trick when we where in high school when he still tried... Then he started doing drugs and stopped caring about school. "Thanks..." He mumbles. I smile.

"You're welcome,"
.
.
.

We where going to the orchard for Connors tenth birthday. It takes a lot of pleading to let my mom let me come with during the Murphys outings. But I think her seeing Connors improvement of him controlling his anger is making her a little more lenient. I was sitting in the back of the car between Connor and Zoe. It's nice to see them not fighting every time they're in the same room. I wonder how long that will last...

"Can we go to the ice cream place first?" Connor perks up as he asks. Zoe also perks at the question. Looking expectantly at her parents. Cynthia looks back then over at her husband.
"I don't see why not," he says. All three of us cheer. We pull up to À La mode and we pile out of the car. We happily race each other to the door and wait for their parent to catch up. We get the flavor we usually do but me and Connor always end up trading. I don't know why it's just something we started doing. Once we got our ice cream me and Connor traded and we went out to sit on the patio like always. Zoe, Connor and I played i spy as we ate our ice cream. Larry and Cynthia watch on with amusement. When we where all done we piled back into the car and continued to the orchard. When we got there we set up a spot with a blanket, drinks and snack foods. Connors parents sat on the blanket and watched us kids play in the field. We climbed trees, played tag and just talked. Then I got an idea. I look at Connor. "Connor, promise me that no matter what we'll always be friends, and we'll never leave each other," I held up my pinky.

"I don't know what brought this up but ok, I promise," He wrapped his pinky around mine and we smiled at each other. These where the times that I missed, and I'm glad I get to relive them, even if it's different.

.

.

.

As the years went by I went through trial and error of finding ways to help Connor keep his temper in check. By middle school he became aware that he does have quite a temper and let's me help calm him down if he doesn't catch himself and keep his temper in check. I also got closer to Evan, who unfortunately is still hanging out with Jared, he's also somewhat friends with Connor. We're both not happy about him hanging out with Jared. So I told Evan my thoughts of him hanging out with Jared and left it at that... But that wasn't enough for Connor. He try's get Evan to leave Jared almost every day. I introduced Connor to Michael and Jeremy. We all became friend pretty quickly. I thought it would be a good idea for Connor to have more then one friend so that's why I introduced him to Jeremy and Michael, even though they're a year younger. He became friends with Evan when he slowly started to talk to us in class. Connor wasn't very happy about it at first but learned to be friends with him. This was also the time when he started to let his hair grow out and I kept mine short. We're currently in seventh grade. Right now Connor and the other three are the only people I came out to. So they're the only one who uses the right pronouns. They where confused and didn't quite get it but I did my best to explain, they still don't quite get it but they're trying to understand. In the previous time line I didn't come out to my mom until eighth grade.

Connor and I are together all the time against my moms wishes, but she doesn't really know since my dad left her when I was in fourth grade and she's always at work.

We where in Connors room on the floor. I was currently leaning against Connors back reading a book while he was bent over trying to do the pre-algebra homework that was assigned today. I finished it during advisory.

"Sure you don't want any help?"

"Yeah, I have to do it on my own,"

"That doesn't mean you can't ask for help," He grunted in reply. I smiled.

"Let me know when you need help," He was quiet. I looked over at his face. "You need help don't you?" He again was quiet so I took that as a yes. I rolled over onto my stomach so I can see his papers. "What part do you need help with?" I ask.

"Just getting started, the rest I understand," I show him how you set up the equation and how you start it.

"Thanks...."

"Anytime,"

"How did you get to be so smart?! I've never seen you study," I look at him trying to think of an excuse.

"I don't know, I just find it easy, but it is getting harder to keep up so I'm going to have to start studying soon," he gave me a 'really' look.

"When they had you take that test you scored what would be around average for a high school senior," I rolled onto my back and look up at the ceiling. It's nice that his room doesn't always smell like pot yet. I absentmindedly fidgeted with my black pocket knife. It was a gift from Connor... I didn't ask where he got it.

"Did I? I don't remember," he flicks me on the forehead.

"Yes. Yes you did," I rub the spot where he flicked me. I pouted.

"That hurt," I whined but his focus was on the homework.

"Uh-huh sure it did," he said and I stuck my tongue out at him. I swing my knees side to side.

"What do you think, high schools going to be like?" I asked filling the silence.

"We still have a whole 'nother year until we're in high school you know? Or are you just saying that because you're going to miss not being in the same school as Michael and Jeremy?"

"Hmm, well i do ride the same bus as Jeremy, so it's not that. I guess I'm nervous. High school is a big change... People change, and you really get to find out who your real friends are... Not that were ever not going to be friends... It's just scary to think about that's all,"

"I guess you do have a point but again we still have a whole year before we have to worry about it, so let's not think about it until then, Okay?"

"Yeah good point," I let my knees fall to one side of me.

"Connor, Devin, Zoe, dinners ready!" Cynthia called from downstairs. I looked up at Connor.

"Let's go eat I'm starving,"