Broken || Harry styles

Chapter 31

Song for the chapter: Pink // Perfect (fav)

"And then it hits you like a wave of pure, empty sadness and you can't seem to figure out where
it came from.

your stomach tightens and your eyes let go of the storm they've been trying to keep away, your knees grow weak and you can't even find the words to speak in a coherent sentence

but you know you can't feel anything
except the crippling sadness that pulls on your heart and rips open your body and tears out your spirit

but the night when the flame consumed me and it held me and shared my burns.

I looked up and the fire that danced between our eyes.

The sadness melted away, overpowered by, this feeling only you give me. This feeling I've only experienced with you, the feeling so strong I don't even know what to call it.

Being in your arms is my safe haven. I'm not there yet, nowhere near it. But I can finally see my light, my flame, my Harry."

I close my journal, setting it on the nightstand aside of Harry's bed. I've accepted my feelings for Harry a while ago. How deep my feelings for him run is something that I am having trouble accepting. I've never felt like this before. I've never trusted, let along open up to someone like I have to him.

Last night when I was struggling, going through another episode the minute his arms were on me it felt like magic. The way, we helped me not even knowing he helped me fight off my demons.

No, he didn't make me feel 100% okay, nowhere close. But just to know someone cares about you, and that I'm really not alone gives me this glimpse of hope and it helps a lot at times like those. You always feel so alone, and trapped in the cage locked in with all your bad thoughts with no escape. So to be wrapped in his arms, is so, different. He reminded me that I'm not alone.

I knew Harry was hurt, after speaking with his mom so I hugged him in hopes that it makes him feel the way it feels when he hugs me. His only wish was to come take a nap and that's where we are now. Harry's sleep, and I'm sitting up against his headboard.

There was so much going on in my head it prevented me from sleeping.

"Melody what're you doing?" his voice low. His lips are parted, his hair is sprawled across his face covering most of his eyes and his eyes remained shut.

"Nothing," I reply a little too quickly. He smiles, my heart melts and my stomach clenches as the butterflies erupt in my tummy.

"Come here, please," his voice lower this time, as he fights off sleep.

"Harry...,"

"Melody...," he mimics, his smile growing. With that I slid into the covers. He immediately places his hand on my hip. My heartbeat increases, as my breathing becomes uneven. We're both facing each other. He opens his eyes. "Hi," he says. I let out a small giggle.

"Hi," I repeat, grinning.

"You're beautiful."

My breath gets caught in my throat. My stomach flutters at his words. I drop his gaze, now feeling insecure. "Don't do that," Harry speaks quietly. His had that was on my hip is not placed on my cheek as he traces small circles on my cheekbone. I draw in an shaky breath slowly lifting up my eyes to meet his. "Do what?" I whisper, his intense stare seemed to have stolen my voice. My head is now cloudy as I'm practically shaking from just our close proximity.

"Whenever I give you a compliment, you shut it down like it's almost the most absurd thing. You are beautiful Melody. In the morning, just waking up with sleep still in your eyes and your hair thrown everywhere, you're still beautiful. Hell, even when you're crying you're still the most attractive women I've ever laid my eyes on Melody. What will it take for you to realize this?" The vulnerability is clear in his voice. His eyes intently bore into mine. His emotions are running high, just as mine, you can practically feel it in the air.

No one has ever talked to me the way Harry does. He's so gentle, soft, and caring. "Thank you," my voice still no higher than I whisper. He doesn't say anything, Instead he leans in until we're a few inches apart as if seeking my approval, I leaned even closer to show my approval. My heart was pounding as my stomach refused to sit still. A shiver ran down my back as our lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss.

He pulls away, smiling from ear to ear, my lips pull into a smile mirroring his. He strokes my cheek one last time.

"I like you, Melody. I'm not sure my feelings for you can even fit in the 'like' category anymore," he lets out a light laugh. "It's like I- I feel like I," he pauses searching for the right words. He shakes his head. "I care about you, Mel." My heart swells at his words, my mind becomes foggy. "Harry..." I stop knowing well enough I couldn't really explain how I felt or let any of the words I was thinking come out of my mouth.

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to hear from me, about how I feel about you."

I'm not sure how I actually feel, nor did I want to discover the depth of it. I was scared shitless about letting myself feel toward this man. I had a heart of Steel until he came along and made me question everything I stood for. He's chipped away my metal armor bit by bit always leaving me feel so exposed, so vulnerable.

I've never felt like I needed anyone until him, I've never known what it felt like to be cared for at such a depth that he cares for me at. And now I've experienced it, I never want to let it go. I've never wanted to talk to anyone about my past until him.

But with him I want to tell him everything because I know he'll listen but I just can't, not right now anyway. He's changed me so much in so little time.

I hate that I feel like I need anyone, but I know without him I probably wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be here. He gives me hope that maybe, just maybe one day I'll get better.

***

Hey babes! HAPPY FRIDAY

I hope you're all walking on rainbows living happily, you guys deserve it!

Wunsch_punsch is translating this story in Russian! The first 4 chapter are up already. It's on ficbook.net! I'll send anyone the link that needs it. THANK YOU FOR THE TRANSLATION

Expect an update Sunday!

I love you sunshines!

smile, be positive, love, be happy

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