Art Book #4! (yes.)

i'll die with a smile on my face, and i don't care how much it hurts

you ever have those times where you hate yourself SO MUCH that you want to literally stab yourself in the neck RIGHT FUCKING NOW but you don't have anything serviceable as a weapon and you can't draw for shit and you're too worked up to actually write coherently?? 

yeah. hello. right now. 

fuck.

fuck.

fuck this, fuck you, fuck it all.

fuck me.

just...fuck everything about me. fucking ideas. screw it.

god.

why is everything so FUCKING wrecked. jesus.

there is no god.

fuck off.

you know what? I don't care.

fuck it all. i'm done.

take it all, shove it into hell. drag me there too. i'd say I deserve it, but I don't believe any of that shit anyways, which I suppose makes me deserve it more.

fuck. it. all.

no one cares. you don't care, I don't care. why should we care. care about what? I don't fucking know. we already established it's not something to care about.

fucking god.

no god. too many gods?? fuck it.

fucking habits. done with this. done with all the fucking thoughts. oughta cut my brain out. cut everything out.

are you fucking testing me, universe. are you putting me in these situations when you KNOW I don't have a knife, just to watch me squirm. are you.

fuck you. fuck me. fuck it all. just. fuck it.

why do anything. nothing works. nothing WORKS. you're fucking ruined. fuck off.

fucking everything up again. again. how many agains is there gonna fucking be. too many. no more. stop stop stop.

fuck.

let me end it.

please. please please. i'm fucking done. i wanna fucking be done.

i don't fucking want to be thinking this shit. stab my eyes. neck. stomach. both wrists. everywhere. anywhere that'll bleed. fuck it all.

no no no. gotta live. why? who knows. i don't.

everyone's asleep. 1:45. sleepdrunk. no rest for the wicked. liar. false face. fuck you.

am i thinking this because i'm awake, or am i awake because i'm thinking this. fuck those questions. fuck this. fuck me.

fucking god, you were FINE earlier. you were fine TWENTY MINUTES AGO. why are you a fucking wreck now. what happened.

you happened. I happened. fuck off.

fuck it all. no one cares.

looping. more agains. no gain. fuck.

maybe i'll forget it in the morning.

maybe.

maybe.

maybe.

i won't.

liar.

fuck off.