Careless

Chapter Seven

I wake up, the sun light beaming through the window above my bed as I shift uncomfortably, letting out a loud sigh.

It happened last night... To me.

I don't know where I should feel happy or destroyed. I mean... It was pretty amazing... But that's not the point. I lost my virginity to him, Harry.

He had control of the whole thing and he knew exactly what to do and how to do it.

He practically had to cup my mouth in one of his hands just so my screams and moans wouldn't be too loud.

At the end, I felt kind of embarrassed cause I barely knew how to do anything. I mean... He did all the hard work. I just sat back and watched it all happen.

I have flashbacks of what happened last night and I immediately try to distract myself.

Immediately realizing that it was just last night, my eyes widen.

I quickly shoot my head, looking over to my side and I know Harry is not there. I'm kind of relieved cause I mean... I probably have a puffy and pale face.

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I can't really say Harry and I are fuck buddies or not.. It was only a one time thing.

I'm obviously never doing that again. With him. Last night I just really needed someone and he was my easy way out.

Thinking about last night, I can say he is reallllllly sexy with a fucked up attitude.

I don't know what's wrong with me but since last night, I see him differently... Like I don't wanna throw up when I see his face.. But I still don't wanna run into him. Ever again.

It's just embarrassing to know he saw the part of me no one else closer than Scott saw.

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip, embarrassed. How could a girl as nerdy and shy as me, let this happen.

My eyes shift from side to side, me day dreaming as I stare at the plain white ceiling. I'm not a fucking virgin anymore.

This is definitely not the way I planned to lose my virginity as I thought it would be with Scott and it would be all about us taking things to the next level and being happy and in love.

Obviously last night wasn't as good and well planned but it was enough to get me distracted from Scott's polite confession about his contact with that whore that I don't even know the name of. Ew.

I violently throw my blanket off my bed watching it spread on the wooden floor.

I can say I'm still really sad and angry

I use all my strength to get up and finally after a few tries, I drag myself out of my bed, my whole body aching from all of the activities I attended last night. Ugh, I'm embarrassed.

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I watch my feet slowly drag themselves along the carpeted floor.

don't know if I wanna continue this friends with benefits thing with Harry. I mean practically, we aren't even friends. I don't know where that leaves us.

But I don't regret last night as much as I thought I would... Maybe because I don't have anyone else to stop me from doing it. I don't have a boyfriend nor do I have parents.

I say it'll be a once in a while thing.. I don't want to look like a desperate slut.

I know Harry won't tell anyone what we did cause well.. I don't want him to and because his friends will probably never talk to him after he confesses.. Well it won't be surprising. I'm not popular, social, pretty or talented in anything so I'm pretty much known as the invisible girl I guess.. With the smallest circle of friends in the world.