A House Full of Brothers

Chapter 42

  Waking up put a weird feeling in my stomach. I was my usual sleepy self, relaxed after getting a full night's rest. But something was off. After entering the living room, it didn't take long to figure out what was wrong. It was 10 in the morning, and even though the stereotype for teenage boys was to wake up late in the afternoon, only one of my brothers conformed to it, usually the rest would be up by now. But the living room was empty. The kitchen, the heart of the house where most time was spent by boys shoving food down their throats, was quiet and dim, only being slightly illuminated by the light coming through the windows.

  It was then that I remembered the conversation I heard my brothers talking about the night prior. But the information was only now being processed. Today was the anniversary of my mom's death. Since my dad left us before she did, her passing always hit us a bit harder than others would expect. My brothers won't leave their rooms often. They may sometimes (rarely) leave their room to get the small snack that their never-ending stomachs requested, or to use the bathroom. 

  I would say I am my normal self - for the most part. I still dawdle around the house, get a snack, or read a book. But I am dead-silent. Both for the fact that I have no one to talk to and for the fact that my solution to sadness is being quiet. I am also very sensitive. If a sappy part comes up in a book, I will cry and continue to do so for what feels like hours. If I spill a drop of milk, tears will stream down my face as if I witnessed a dog dying. If the toilet paper roll runs out, I will sob into my hands despite the fact that there is another roll right behind me. It's just that the smallest things are enough to tip my already filled glass of emotions over the edge, sending me into a spiral of tears.

  I watched TV for a few hours or so, my focus only being diverted from the loud ding of the doorbell.  Blake was stood at the door wearing the joggers he claimed as pajamas, a wrinkled t-shirt, and tousled hair, he had just woken up. As my emotions were out of the loop today, the small gesture made me cry. Upon seeing tears running down my cheeks, his face showed complete and utter confusion as he held my shoulders to steady me.

  "Brooklyn? Are you okay?" His voice held sincere worry. He kept on trying to meet my eyes, as if it would reassure him that I was fine. I continued to avoid his gaze, opting to hug him as hugging would hide my teary eyes from him as well as calm me down a bit. Blake was a bit taken aback by the sudden motion, faltering a step. He awkwardly rubbed one hand up and down my back while the other stayed secure around my waist. He waited for my loud cries to turn into soft whimpers before speaking up again. 

  "Kyle told me what today is, thought you might want company." He spoke quietly, as if anything louder would send me running. Instead of giving him the vocal response he was expecting, I merely nodded and gripped the back of his shirt a bit tighter, trying to lessen my mental anguish through a physical motion. He acted upon my response, stepping us backward until we were back in the house. 

  Blake must've caught onto the fact that I didn't want to talk or for him to see me crying, just wanting the assurance of another person with me. He bent over slightly, only standing up after he scooped my legs out from under me, to carry me up the stairs. On a normal day, I would've giggled and hung onto his neck, just barely though, so I could still see his face and his smile. But this time I clung on tightly, as it kept my face hidden from both his view and the sun which let bright lights sweep through the windows.

  Blake walked right into my room, peeling the covers back before setting me down and crawling in beside me and pulling up the covers. I tried to keep my face stuffed in my pillow. My pillow was warm and dark and relaxing, something that was calming. Falling asleep seemed so easy at this moment, slumber coming much faster than usual due to the strain on my brain from the all intense range of emotions I had been feeling. But Blake lightly stroking my hair brought me back to full consciousness.