When I'm just sitting here
All alone
I can hear every sound
It's beating like a drum
Echoing all around
Listen to the wind blowing
Through all the trees
Beginning to cry
As I drop to my knees
I realized I was holding my breath
Seem to be constantly wishing for death
Wanting this all to just go away
Always feeling alone in this world
One that has quickly grown cold
What do I even have to look forward to
My soul is so weak And I'm feeling so old
It's such a chore to remember
Any good things that I've had
Always feeling overwhelmingly sad
I'm trying not to burden the others
I silently cry while I'm under the covers
A few people wondering where I'm even at
Just trying to hide from the torture
Of being life's doormat
Throughout my life
I've experienced some terrible stuff
And I've tried to hold onto an image of being so tough
Most overlook my horrible reality
That theres nothing more
Than a scared little girl within me
I'm really just wanting to forget
All of the abuse and other shit
It all has me damaged so deeply
These thoughts of mine just won't fucking quit
It doesn't even matter
How hard I really try
To just push it all away
It always comes back to remind me
That I will never escape this pain
It is real And it's here to fucking stay
Just when I think that everything is good to go
I get the wind knocked out of me
With another epic fucking blow
Will I always be struggling
Trying to catch my breath
Gasping for air
Hoping for sudden death
I hate being so fucked up inside
Never feeling better
No matter how much I've cried
None of them will ever admit what they did
Enduring viscous abuse since I was just a kid
Remembering all of that fear
Clear back from when I was two
Why didn't anyone protect me
Like they were supposed to
What could I have possibly done wrong
To deserve so much abuse
For this fucking long
Doesn't everyone deserve a break
What the hell did I do
Someone answer me for fuck sake
I've heard a few I'm sorry's
I promise it won't happen again
Only to get beat down and treated like trash
Get a clue stupid
You're never going to win
The damage has already been done
You have no chance
Your value is next to none
I'll never know why my life
Was destined to be this way
I know I'm not lucky enough
For it to just end today
I'll be forced to keep going yet another day
I'll just leave my soul right here
In the woods
It's the perfect shade of gray
