Last night I feel asleep with puffy eyes and bloody wrists. God says it's a sin to take your own life, but is it a sin to self-harm?
No! This isn't self-harming. I don't like the way that sounds. I'm still me, and I'm not one of the girls who are depressed and have mental illnesses. I'm not like them, I'm normal!
All though, if that was the case I guess I wouldn't be going to bed with tolet paper wrapped around my wrists so that the blood wouldn't get on my white sheets. What's wrong with me? What happened to me?
I woke up to the sun beating down on my face on this early Saturday morning. For a second everything was perfect. I had zero cares in the world. Though that moment soon vanished when everything came flooding back. I looked at my wrist; still stained with blood and scaring over. I'm sick to my stomach even looking at what I did. I hate what I did. I hate what I said. If I feel this bad, I can't imagine how awful my sister is feeling.
I sat on my bed and hugged my stuffed animal close to my chest. I thought about everything Charlie said. I thought about how it might be more important to accept people than to judge at first sight. I looked back at my wrist. The things I felt can't even compair to what Cassie's felling. I take a deep breath as I come to the conclusion, I need to talk to Cassie.
I walk across the hall and over to her bedroom. I stare at the white door as I hold my clenched fist to it. I want to knock, but I can't. My hand won't let me move. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I knock on the door three times before I hear a low “Come in.” I open the door and see my sister sitting on her bed, wearing sweatpants and a overgrown t-shirt that looks like something from the men’s section. She was writing something in her journal, when she looked up our eyes met. “Evie.” She wispered. “What's up?”
She put her book down as I came and sat next to her. “I'm sorry.” I tell her. “It took me to do something drastic to realize how much of an idiot I was. If you want to be gay that's fine, if your friends want to be gay that's fine too. Cassie I love you no matter what.”
I see tears fill her eyes and she pulls me in for a hug. “Evie, you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that.” I hug her back and we embrace each other for a good 20 seconds before she breaks the silence. “But, I'm not gay.” She says so she wiped tears away from her eyes. “Evie, promise me you really will love me no matter what.”
“I promise.” I take her hands and hold them tight, showing her I truly mean what I say.
“Evie, I like girls. But I'm not gay, because, well. Evie I'm a boy.” She's spat out. A smile girl across her face, one larger than I've ever seen before. “I'm trans!” She yells and laughs. “I'm trans!”
“What?” I say as I rip my hands away from her grip. “You think your a boy?”
“I don't just think Evie, I know I am. I've known for a while. I wanted to tell everyone, but then mom died and I knew that our family couldn't handle anymore change. I knew I had to be there for all of you guys so I stayed strong and it kept it in all these years. But I'm finally ready to come out.”
“B-but you love makeup, you love clothes.” I say confused.
“It's a mask, so people can't truly see who I am inside.” She grabs my hands again and pulls them tight up to her chest. “Evie you promised you would love me no matter what.”
The past seven years of my life there's always been one other girl in this house. I've always looked up to Cassie as a mother figure. Now she's telling me my older sister, my best friend, is gone? “But, you're telling me my big sister, is gone?” My eyes filled with tears as I can't process what I'm hearing.
“Not gone.” She assured me. “I'm still me, I'm still the same person you've always known. I'm just coming out as who I truly am. I know this is a big change, and maybe you can't accept me. I have known I've probably put you through a lot of pain, and I'm so sorry for that. I just hope, you can see me, as, me.”
I look at Cassie's eyes, her beautiful green eyes that I have known and loved all my life. And I just want her to be happy. “For most of my life I've had little brothers, though I never got to experience what it would be like to have an older brother. I'm excited to find out.”
Her eyes glisten and a smile goes across her face. For the first time in a while she truly looks happy. She hugs me once more as she laughs and tears start falling out of her eyes. Only this time, they're tears of joy.
“Hey, Evie?” She asked me though happy cries.
“Ya?”
“Let's go shopping for Semi.”
“You want to go dress shopping? Now?” I asked and half amusement and half confusion.
“Something like that.” She smiles as she grabs her coat and drags me out the door.
That day I find the perfect dress for me, a beautiful floor length navy blue gown with a see-through back. And Cas finds a perfect black tuxedo with a adorable little bow tie.
Now we're ready for Semi, but are we ready for what truly comes next? I think we will be, as long as we stick by each other.
A/N: Hey My Marvel Stars! It's Mixie 💖
I hope you guys like this chapter, there will be one more I'll be uploaded tomorrow. It's a short chapter but it really ties everything together. I hope you guys are enjoying the story and can't wait to see how it ends!
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Big Brother
Random{Completed} Evie is one of five children; her three younger brothers, Jack, Dean and Sam. And her older sister, Cassie. In a big family such as her's, it could be hard to choose a favorite sibling. Though Evie doesn't have to think twice before choo...
