Book 1: Beyond Me and You

Your Hoodie

After two hours of laying in my bed I begin to get dressed. Thanksgiving did not go the way I planned it to, but I don't think it went the way anyone planned it to. I go to grab a hoodie that is on my vanity chair but my nose if filled with Dean's intoxicating smell. Holding the sweater closer to me reminds me of the day he gave it to me..

Flashback

We lay on my bed while my father was away at work. Dean has his arms wrapped around me holding me close to him. We can hear the cool autumn breeze as we watch 'To all the Boys I've Loved Before' 

I'm trying my best to stay awake but my eye lids feel like they have weights holding them down. As I go back and forth from consciousness Dean pulls me closer to him. 

"Lark" Dean says softly but loud enough for me to hear. I let a 'mmm' escape my mouth. "I love you" he says as he places a kid on the top of my head right before I fall asleep. 

I wake up to the sound of someone trying to open my room door. I quickly jump out of my bed to see that Dean has already done the same. 

"In the bathroom" I whisper to him. He sprints to the bathroom and just as he closes the bathroom door I can hear someone knock on my room door. 

"Who is it?" I ask as I walk towards the door. 

"Who else?" I can hear Vivi sarcastically say from the other side of the door. I open the door to see Vivi with an annoyed face. "Thank you. Dean you can come out of the bathroom" she says as she walks into my room and sits on my bed. 

Dean comes out of the bathroom with a relieved look on his face. "For a minute we thought-" he begins to say but Vivi cuts him off. 

"I know. You thought it was Lark's father. But you seriously need to find a better place to hide because the bathroom is a little to obvious in my opinion." 

We all finish watching the movie together. The breeze that enters my room becomes more noticeable as I begin to feel the cold.

"You need to get that window fixed" says Vivi and she continues to eat Doritos. 

"You're right" I say. I go to get up and grab a hoodie but Dean grabs my hands bringing me back down to the bed. 

In a swift motion he takes off his hoodie and holds it out for me to take. "I can get my own. You'll be cold without it" I say. 

"But I want you to have it" 

I accept the hoodie and put on. I'm quickly engulfed with his scent which is intoxicating and something I can never get enough of. 

"Well aren't you two cute" Vivi says as she continues to stuff her mouth with Doritos. She may say she hates hanging out with us but she doesn't stop because she won't get free food anymore. Dean pulls be towards him so that my head rests on his chest. 

This...this is perfect. 

End of Flashback

A knock on my door draws me out of my thoughts. 

"Lark..it's me. Dean." he says. Although I can see him, I can hear the worry in his voice. He has called me about 10 times and has sent me over 20 messages. I wanted to reply but that wouldn't be right. "Please open the door. It's just us two.." he begs. After a few seconds of silences he gives up. "Fuck!" he yells as he hits the door out of frustration. I understand why he feels that way, it's my fault. The pressure of what happens yesterday  and my frustration with myself causes a lump in my throat that turns into anger. 

I stomp towards the door and swing it open. I am met with his hazel eyes and all I see is pain. The pain I caused. 

"Lark-" begins to say but I couldn't contain myself any longer. 

"We can't do this anymore." I say without making eye contact with him. 

"What?" he asks in disbelief. 

"It's over Dean." I say as I go over to my vanity and grab his hoodie. I hold it in front of him and wait for him to grab it. 

"Lark please"

"Take it Dean and get out!" I yell out of frustration. The tears threaten to spill but I use all of my strength to keep them contained. 

Dean takes a step forward and closes the door behind him. "Lark don't do this. I-I love you" he says as he grabs a hold of my shoulders making me face him. The pain is written all over his face causing my anger to quickly fade. 

What am I doing?

"I love you too" I say in defeat unable to look him in the eyes. 

"Then don't do this" he says. His vulnerability is clearly evident in his voice. 

"I have to-" my voice cracks but I try my best to maintain my composure. 

"No you don't.." he says as his hand lifts my face so that I can look into his eyes. Seeing him in pain only breaks my heart even more. 

"Can't you see?! They're getting married Dean! MARRIED!!" I yell as I push him away from me. "I can't take away my dad's happiness. I love you. I love you so much it hurts" I say no longer being Anne to contain my tears. They continuously stream down my face. "He's happy with her.. I want him to be happy..."

"But what about us?" Dean asks as he takes a few steps towards me. His presence alone makes me want to jumps into his arms and never let him go. It takes all of my strength to hold myself back.

"We can't go on anymore. They're going to get married soon. You'll be my step-brother."

Dean takes a few steps backwards as if he had just realized what was happening. His face was in shock as his mind was finally processing everything. 

"Please leave Dean" I say as I walk around him and open the door, motioning for him to leave. 

After a few seconds of silence, he begins to walk towards the door. 

"Dean?" I say causing him to turn around. "Your hoodie" I say as I hold the hoodie out for him one last time. He takes it out of my hands in one swift motion and just like that he's gone. 

I love you so much. More than you'll ever know..