Book 1: Beyond Me and You

What Happened?!

Dean called me nonstop for the next 24 hours after the break-up but eventually they stopped all together. I no longer got messages or calls from him. It's the Sunday before school on Monday and I can't help but begin to dread tomorrow. 

"Larkin?" I hear dad say from the other side of the door. 

Me and him haven't really spoken since the Thanksgiving dinner. He knows I needed space but he doesn't really know why.

"Come in" I say quietly but loud enough for him to hear me. 

As soon as he walks in I can see how tired he is. The bags under his eyes tell me that he has barely slept the past few days. I can't help to wonder if I'm there reason for it. 

"How are you?" he asks as he sits on the edge of my bed. 

"I'm fine and you?" 

"I've been better" he jokes but he smile seems forced. 

I did this..

"Dad-" I begin to say but he cuts me off before I can go on any further. 

"Lark. If you're not okay with me marrying Kayla, I can end things right now" he says while looking right into my eyes. I can see how anxious he is. Although he offered to end things with her, I know what he's hoping for. Kayla has made him happy and after the scene I made his smile has faded. I took away his happiness for the past few days. 

I look at him imagining him looking like this from now on everyday. The thought of him being in pain because of me makes me hate myself for even thinking about it. 

"Dad" I say as I place my hand on top of his. "If you love Kayla and if she loves you back, then I'm okay with it. I just want you to be happy and if Kayla makes you happy, then that's all I could ever want"

The anxiousness quickly disappears from his face and I begin to see his genuine smile reappear. This is the effect Kayla has on him, this is him being truly happy. 

"Thank you Larkin" he says as he pulls me into a hug. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but what happened on Thanksgiving?" he asks gently as if he's walking on eggshells. 

"I must've been shocked. It was all so sudden" I say as I scratch the back of my neck. 

"Okay then sweetheart" he says as he places his hand on top of my head and ruffles my hair. 

After the conversation he leaves with a smile on his face. I stayed up all night dreading over having to go to school. Before I knew it, it was 8 in the morning. The sun had risen and I could hear my dad moving around in the kitchen downstairs. 

His footsteps as he walks up the stairs echo down the small hallway until he reaches my room. 

"Lark it's time to get ready for school-" he says but stops dead in his tracks when he catches sight of me. The bags under my eyes had become far worse than they were yesterday. I have barely gotten any sleep the past few days. No amount of make-up could hide how tired I was. "Stay home today. But I want you to actually get some sleep. Please.." he says as he looks at me with worried eyes. 

What am I doing?! Why must I always make him worry?!

"Yes" I say as I lift the blanket over my head and turn to face the window. He slowly closes my room door. After many more hours of constant thinking my eyes finally close shut. 

The sound of a pan falling wakes me up. It's 3 p.m. Tuesday...

I slept for over 12 hours?!!!

The smell of donuts completely wakes me up. There they are, on my night stand is a box of a dozen Kripsy Kreme donuts. Their smell is intoxicatingly delicious. 

"Glad to see you're awake" dad says as he leans against the door frame. "I brought you some donuts, but don't eat them all at once" he says before he goes back downstairs. He's giving me space and I'm thankful he honest question it. 

I got to grab a donut but the closer I am to them, the more nauseous I feel. 

Maybe I shouldn't. 

And just like that I fall asleep once again. The sound my door swinging open wakes me up. 

"Alright. Wake up!" dad yells as he appears at the door. It is Monday. Lark you've missed a whole week of school already!" he yells. His face seems stern but his voice drips with worry. "Please. It's 7:30 in the morning. Go to school. I can't let you stay home anymore" 

The past few days have been a complete blur for me. I can only faintly remember waking up every now and then to grab a snack and then falling back to sleep. 

"I'll wait for you downstairs" he says before he leaves me alone to get ready. 

After a quick shower and putting on some clothes I made my way downstairs. Dad was waiting for me with a granola bar and rushed me out the door. The drive to school was silent and before I knew it, we were parked in front of the main entrance. I can sense dad looking at me but I continue to silently stare at the clouds in the sky. 

"Larkin I-" he begins to say but he goes silent, unable to finish his sentence. "Have a good day at school" he says as he unlocks the car door. 

I take a deep breath in and open the car door. People moved around me, going on with their lives while mine felt like it stood still. This is my first time out of my room in the past week and I wasn't ready. The sound of dad's car driving away becomes very faint in my ears. 

"Lark!!!!" I hear someone yell from behind me. I slowly turn to see Vivi sprinting right at me. Without slowing down she crashes into me and gives me a tight hug, almost squeezing all of the air out of me. "I'm so glad you're okay" she says out of breath. I soon feel her tears falling on my shoulder causing me to hug her back. 

"I'm sorry" was all I found myself able to say. 

After a few more minutes of Vivi crying, we decided to go inside the school. As we stand in front of my locker I can't help but worry about running into Dean. I'm still not ready to see him..

"What happened?!" Vivi whispers/yells at me. "No more avoiding me. I've been worried, Tyler has been asking for you nonstop, and I tried asking Dean but-" 

"You asked Dean?!" I whisper/yell cutting off her sentence. "Oh no" I say as I stick my head in my locker. 

"Lark" she says my name, demanding for an explanation.

"We broke up" I say while keeping my head in my locker. "Well..I broke up with him"

"Why?!" she yells causing people to turn and stare at us. I stick my head out of my locker and glare at her. "Why?" she whispers. 

"My dad and his mom are engaged"

"No way.." she says in disbelief. Vivi is the only one, besides Caleb, who knew about my relationship with Dean. She knew how much I cared about him, which means she knows the real reason as to why I haven't been to school the past week. 

"My dad is happy Vivi. He's a completely different person with Kayla. She makes him happy. I can't be the one to take his happiness away. I just can't.." 

Vivi pulls me into a hug and gently rubs my back. 

"I know Lark. I know."