Book 1: Beyond Me and You

A Bit Drunk

"Good to see you again Nathan."

Nathan turns around in front of me to face the guy. The whole time this guy has a smirk on his face. He seems to be one of those overly confident guys. I hop off of the counter to stand next to Nathan.

"Zane" Nathan says acknowledging the guy.

They must know each other, but how?

I stand there awkwardly next to Nathan a bit unsure of whether I should walk away or wait there quietly. The guy stares at Nathan but then his eyes are diverted to me. His stare is intense and nerve-wracking but Nathan takes a step to the side to cover me, blocking me from his stare.

"She's cute"

"What do you want?" Nathan snaps back.

"I just want to talk"

"We're talking"

"I prefer somewhere more private, unless you want everyone to hear"

Nathan slightly looks back and me as I stand there looking at him with big doe eyes all confused.

"Fine."

I stand there as he walks away with Zane deeper into the house.

I'm left there standing there alone and most of all, confused. Who is Zane? What are they going to talk about?

Everyone keeps on drinking and having fun while I stand off to the side. Nathan and Zane have been gone for a while now and a group of girls keep staring at me.

Vivian approaches me with two drinks in hand. Her walk is a bit unstable but she still has a smile on her face.

"Here!" she says as she hands me a drink. I go to take a sip but the smell of alcohol is overpowering.

"Vivi, is there anything in this drink besides alcohol?" I ask.

"That wouldn't be any fun" she says in laughter. I turn to put the drink down on the table, but when I turn around Vivi begins to chug her drink in one go. I go to take the cup out of her hand but it's too late, it'scompletely empty.

"Just what I needed!" she yells enthusiastically. I grab a hold of her arm and drag her out of the house towards Nathan's car.

Compared to the inside of the house, it's quiet outside. Quiet enough for me to hear Vivian begin to vomit as she sits on the floor next to me.

"Oh no" is all she says before she begins to vomit again. I bend down to hold her hair back as she continues to vomit.

"It's okay" I say comforting her.

When Vivian told me to come to this party I didn't think much of it because it isn't the first time she does it, but I should've seen the red flags. Her excessive drinking and her constant need to be doing something. Vivian must've seen Sienna's car at my house the other day.

"What's wrong with me?" she asks as she begins to cry. "What am I missing?"

Her voice sounds broken. It hurts her to even suspect Dean is with Sienna. I can't imagine telling her it's true.

I sit down next to her and lay her head on my lap. "There's nothing wrong with you." I caress her hair in hopes that it calms her down.

"There has to be. I haven't had a boyfriend since Caleb and even he has stopped paying attention to me. I'm not saying I liked him following me, but I miss someone looking forward to seeing me"

I can feel her tears fall onto my legs. Vivian's body shakes as she continues to cry. I'm left speechless at her breakdown. Normally I'm the one in tears but this time it's her.

"I look forward to seeing you" I try my best to say but my voice begins to waver.

Vivian sits up straight and looks at me. "Yeah but you have Nathan. For fucks sake he fucking loves you" Her voice rises. "And he's not the only one" she whispers but I managed to hear her. Her eyes go wide in shock as she realizes what she said.

"What?" I ask in confusion. "Repeat it." I demand but she turns away from me pretending I didn't say anything.

"What did you say?!" I say once again but I end up yelling.

"Dean is still in love with you!" Vivian blurts out louder than she intended to. She covers her mouth as fast as possible but it's too late.

"Woah looks like you got competition huh?"

Vivian and I both turn around to see Nathan and Zane standing a few feet away from us.

"Uhh" Vivian stutters. She then lifts her hand to her head. "I may be a bit drunk"

"I think that's a huge understatement"

After that Zane leaves in his car while Nathan and I attempt to get a sleeping Vivian into the backseat of Nathan's car. Nathan gets in the driver's seat while I buckle Vivian's seatbelt. I finally get in the front seat after all of that hard work. Drunk Vivi isn't the easiest to carry.

The ride to drop off Vivian was quiet. But this wasn't a comfortable silence, it was one full of unspoken words and tension. I took Vivi inside her house and got her into her bed without her parents noticing anything. I look back to see a sleeping Vivi all tucked in bed with a smile on her face.

Once back in the car I'm suddenly overwhelmed by the same feeling.

"Na-"

"He still loves you" Nathan says before I can even finish saying his name.

"I know.." I say in defeat. I look into Nathan's eyes and see hurt and fear. "What did you and Zane talk about?" I change the subject.

"Nothing." His voice is cold and distant.

"You're gonna shut me out again?" I ask in an annoyed tone. "What happened to 'no more secrets' huh?"

"I'm trying to protect you"

"No. Not letting me know what the hell I'm getting myself into isn't protecting me and I need you to understand that in order for us to work I need you to open up more!" My voice sounds weak and desperate at this point. I rest my head on my hands which are propped up by my knees.

I really thought Nathan and I were making progress but I guess I fooled myself into believing something that wasn't real.

I sit there in silence hoping that Nathan will prove me wrong, but the silence itself is his answer.