It is What it Is (FMA Fanfiction)

Progression

After the next chapter or so, we'll start getting to the confrontation about Edward's self-harm, just a note.

((Finally, a chapter that has a little bit of Alphonse in it~. And other stuff. Also, this festival ISN'T filler. There's a huge purpose for it.

...

The next day, Riza woke up before everybody else. The sun had risen, light spilling through the windows. Slowly, she made her bed, before going to the bathroom and fulfilling her morning nessesities. Afterwards, she then came back into the bedroom, noticing a troubled expression on Roy's face as she passed by.

Kneeling down to his bed side, she spoke in a soft voice:

"Colonel..."

When he didn't respond, she repeated herself a little louder.

Still no response.

"Roy, wake up. You're having a nightmare." She finally said, rubbing a hand on the side of his face. With a jolt, he woke up, looking up at her, the terror in his eyes obvious. However, when he took in his surroundings, he began to calm down.

"Hawkeye,... you called me by my first name..." He said weakly, giving a light smile, despite the pain in his eyes. Nightmares were a fairly common occurrence for both of them to deal with, so Riza understood what he was going through.

Her eyes widened ever so slightly in realization and she couldn't help but blush a bit. However, she quickly regained her composure. "Oh, so I did. Forgive my insubordination, sir."

"No, it's fine." Roy said, in a low voice. "Roy is fine, at least for this weak."

"With all due respect, Colonel, it would be inappropriate for me to speak to you on such an informal basis." Riza mumbled.

"Please, I insist." He told her, as he began to sit up, before letting out a small chuckle. "Besides, you've already called me 'honey'. I don't think it could get more informal than that."

Feeling her ears growing hotter than before, Riza decided to change the topic. "What were you dreaming about...? If you don't mind me asking..."

She stood up and sat next to him, figuring he wouldn't mind. It hadn't been the first time Riza had walked in on Roy having a nightmare, after all.

Roy was silent for a moment, before speaking back up. "Reliving memories from Ishval..."

He had a grim and tortured look on his face.

"I see..." Riza mulled over it. She had figured as much.

"There's always so much blood..." Roy murmured, looking down at his hands. "It felt so real... Like I was still there."

"I know..." Riza mumbled. Even for her, the war was not over in her heart. She knew that Roy felt the same. "I want to say that it's okay because we're not there anymore..., but we both know that in the end, it's not okay, and nor will it ever be..."

Nothing they could do or say would ever give back the lives that had been taken by them in Ishval. They would forever have their hands stained and that was a fact.

Roy placed a reassuring hand over hers. "No, but it is what it is."

"Yes..." Riza nodded. "I'm sorry, sir..."

She herself still hadn't entirely healed from her own past, so she wasn't about to begin to think herself as being capable of healing somebody else when she couldn't even help herself half the time. Inspirational words were true enough, but when the memories struck, it didn't mean they weren't painful.