Finders Keepers.

One Shot One

??? looked down at the dead body of the silver haired samurai and smiled. Blood soaked the carpet as it escaped from the lifeless body. Gintoki was dead.
"Hey why am I killed! I'm supposed to be the main character!" Gin yelled suddenly sitting up. He started to complain and ??? stood there unsure of what to do. Suddenly Lolly-Chan appeared.
"Shut it, Gin-Chan, no one cares if you're the main character, you've been killed now suck it up!" Lolly-Chan told Gin. Gin stood up and walked out of the view of this book and grabbed Shinpachi.
"Now one cares if he dies so kill him instead," Gin demanded. Lolly-Chan shook her head.
"If no one cares then the story will have no real meaning to it, so Gin-Chan as much as I love you and agree with the amount of sugar you eat since I have the same diet, you're gunna have to die, I chose you because everyone cares," Lolly-Chan explained why Gin had to die.
"Hey so no one cares about me!" Pachi played the straight man. The two ignored him and then Lolly-Chan kicked him out cause he was only there since it's Gintama and nothing makes sense.
"Bye bye," Lolly-Chan waved as she vanished, since she is after all the author and has all the power. Gin went back to laying in his own blood and ???..... it looks like the murderer escaped while Gin was trying to get out of being killed. Shame since Lolly-Chan could of got a look and killed the murderer for killing Gin and crushing her dreams of taking over a chocolate factory with him. Also with candy floss and lollipops. Anyway back to the story.
Kagura walked in and saw Gin lying there. She kicked him and realised he was dead so Kagura quickly walked backwards and ran out the door.
"I saw nothing, absolutely nothing," Kagura whistled as she walked away. Kagura may be super cute and adorable and be super amazing when she's kicking ass but sometimes she should do the responsible thing, like call the tax robbers. "Ah! Good idea, I'll go to the tax robbers and make them figure out who killed Gin-Chan, thanks Lolly-Chan!" No problem Kagura. So Kagura went to the stupid tax robbers, although Okita is amazing and we should all love him. Kondo and Hijitaka should die.
"Why is it always me!" Hijikata shouted at the annoying author. Lolly-Chan smirked showing her sadistic side she gave him a super cute smile and said the most not cute thing ever.
"Die Mayora, I will gorge out your eyes, pull out all your teeth, dislocate every bone in your body then stab you three times in the stomach, if your not dead by this point I'll smack your head with a big hammer," Lolly-Chan said with her cute little voice with her cute little smile. Sougo patted Lolly-Chan on the head for her detailed ways of making Hijikata die. Kagura's heart felt weird. Seeing Lolly-Chan and Sougo together made her feel funny. Lolly-Chan smiled at Kagura.
"Ummmm......" Kagura ignored the feeling and went back to the reason she was here. "Gin-Chan is dead so can you help me figure out who did it?" Kagura asked. Sougo laughed evilly at the fact that Gin was dead. Hijikata celebrated the idiot was dead and Kondo was happy that he had one less rival for Otae. Lolly-Chan just smiled since she already knew, she was there when Gin tried to kill Shinpachi off instead but it had to be Gin or else the story wouldn't work.
"I already know who it was," Everyone turned to Yamazaki. "It was the greedy person who wanted the chocolate factories to herself and decided the best way to do that was to kill Gin," Lolly-Chan began to sweat as they all looked at her. "Isn't that right, Lolly-Chan," Yamazaki smirked.
"Well done Anpan Man, you figured it out, but there was one more reason," They all looked at Lolly-Chan curiously. She then grabbed Sougo and Kagura's head and bashed them together causing them to kiss. "Sougo I will always love you but I love OkiKagu more so I killed Fin to give Kagura an excuse to come down to you tax robbers and I could make you kiss!"
Lolly-Chan disappeared then satisfied with her work leaving everyone confused aside from the two favourite couple. Kagura tried to hide her blushing face while Sougo tried his best to keep his poker face but a tint of red was on his cheeks.
"Damn Sadist you took my first kiss," Kagura accused.
"It wasn't my fault Lolly-Chan did that," Sougo shrugged.
"This is my revenge," Kagura leaned in close to Sougo and........... bit his lip. Not in the cute little romantic way, no this is Gintama, blood dropped out of the wound Kagura had created and happy she started to laugh. You were expecting a kiss like other fanfics have. Heheheheh this fanfic is different cause the author is a weirdo.
"Well here's my revenge for taking my first kiss," Sougo quickly wiped away to blood and leant in so close that their lips almost touched when........ he head butted her. A big bruise appeared on the young yato's head. Then the two were off again, fighting like the Gintama way!!!

"Hey can I be alive again now," Gin wondered, still laying pretending to be dead. Lolly-Chan appeared and nodded.
"Go have fun now," she waved as Gin ran off to buy his jump.