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-Creeper- 11/18/18-

I only drive attention for one reason:

To get the attention of the one I like.

I have no other intention to get anyone else.

However, I manage to catch eyes.

I'm weird, I act weird.

I hate it when other guys do that,

But here I am doing the same thing.

He's like me, he hates it.

Then why do I do it?

I don't know,

It's an automatic reaction whenever he's close.

It seems I don't have control,

Over myself, my heart, and my mind,

Now I have a creeper on my trail,

One that I've never intended.

Why does this always happen?

Why do I always put myself in the same position,

When I know that I hate it?

Or maybe it's the fact that I need someone,

I need someone to make me feel needed,

I need someone who likes me,

To make me feel alive,

The pain and confusion,

Gives me feelings to hold onto.

But it's torture,

Toxic even,

To both sides.

Why would I do this?

To satisfy my own mind.

To give my demons enough food to feed on,

To satisfy what little hope I have left,

Of me ever being wanted,

Of me ever being needed by another being.

I want someone, I need someone,

I hate people, I don't need anyone,

Which side do I believe?