bridges » david dobrik

23

you can hear it in the silence
you can feel it on the way home
you can see it with the lights out
you are in love, true love

———

It took three more days until I changed my mind about David. It was the mundane routine of waking up, going to work, coming home, eating and showering, then going to bed that made me see the light.

I had been living that way, boring but hidden, for three years. I had been always looking over my shoulder, hoping no one recognized me. I was always changing my hair and wearing no makeup and dressing against my body type just to shake attention away from me. I was living in fear.

Being with David was, in one word, different. I said who I was, and I didn't care. I went gambling and went on a crazy road trip and stripped in front of fifty people! I was alive and free and happy, despite the fact that I'd always thought I'd only ever be happy alone as Elliot. Then, I met David.

I had come to realize that I couldn't be happy in my name without him. I was already exposed. TMZ camera men knew where I lived, and a reporter from The Sun had been asking some of the employees at the library who I was and what my story was. My fake name and real name were both out there for the whole world to know. I had two distinct options: I could change my name again, move out of the one city I truly loved, and leave everyone and everything behind, or I could wear my name with pride, not give a fuck if people saw me as bitchy or rude for not wanting to take a picture with them, and be as happy as possible with the people I loved in the place I loved.

Looking at it from that point of view, only one option made sense.

I had to find David.

It was three in the morning when I came to this conclusion, so I had to be quiet as I got halfway decent. I didn't want to look like I had been sleepless and crying for the last week and a half. I put on some concealer and mascara to make myself look just a touch better, just so I didn't look crazy or scary. I brushed my teeth and pulled my hair up into a ponytail. After some careful consideration, I pulled off my big, stained crying shirt and put on some gray leggings and a big, plain maroon sweatshirt. I didn't want to look like I was trying, but c'mon. I wasn't going to look ugly.

I slid on my pair of Minion themed slippers from Target and wrote Suzy a quick note, worried she might come home from her dick appointment and think I jumped off a bridge of something.

suz—
yes i went to davids
yes i am a dumb bitch
sue me
xoxo genevieve!!

Deciding my note was good enough, I laid it on the counter for her to see and gave Cracker Jack a dentastick for being so quiet. I grabbed my phone and my keys and exited the apartment as quickly as possible, climbing into my little car and sighing when I saw I desperately needed gas.

I knew the longer it took me to get there, the more time I'd have to talk myself out of it. I almost debated figuring out how to syphon some gas from another car in the parking garage, but I didn't want to get arrested, so I stopped at a gas station.

Waiting for my gas to pump was the longest five minutes of my life. I thought about every possible outcome of this situation, what I should say, what David might say, and it wasn't helping at all. I was getting more and more anxious about each scenario, and I just wanted to be in front of David. I had hope everything would come to me if I saw him.

After I got my gas, I sped all the way to David's house, slightly confused when I pulled into the driveway and didn't see his signature white Tesla. There was the possibility that someone had taken it for some reason, maybe to impress someone, but the sinking feeling in my stomach told me otherwise. David wasn't there.