coffee // joshler

54

josh's point of view

"josh," tyler speaks softly, but it wakes me up anyway.

"huh," i mumble in return, not opening my eyes just yet.

"someone wants to buy lemondrop."

my eyes do peek open at that. tyler is sitting up next to me, his laptop open to gmail.

"what?" i sit up a little and look over at his screen. "woah."

"they want to build some sort of bank or something there," he bites his lip, his eyebrows drawn together. "i don't know what to do."

"well, its your thing, baby. but i dont think you should. where else would i get my coffee?" i sit up all the way and kiss his cheek. "really though, ive thought about our future, and its always involved. you serving cookies to our kids and their friends, your hair graying and your apron worn out because you refuse to get a new one."

"maddy made it for me in home-ec. i can't just throw it out," he leans his head on my shoulder.

"i know," i smile a little.

"i cant sell lemondrop. i worked so hard to make it what it is. i can't just sell out now. youre right."

"good. starbucks is overpriced."

-

tyler slipped into littlespace today, for the first time in a long time.

he's been doing good about stopping, but i know its been hard for him. he's pushed himself into his music instead, song after song after song.

but seeing him so happy, munching on animal crackers while he plays with jim and watching cartoons, i dont have the heart to even attempt to age him up.

"daddy, jim is eating my animal crackers," tyler giggles and scratches behind the pup's ear. "he's so silly."

"he wouldnt be eating them if you weren't feeding them to him, ty. seems like you're the silly one."

"daddyyyyy," he laughs and jim tackles him, licking at his face. "jim knocked me overrrrr."

i walk over to the pair and pick jim up. he's getting big fast, but i can still lift him pretty easily.

"thank you," tyler stands up and wipes his face on the sleeves of his sweater, which i got for christmas a few weeks ago.

"you're wearing my sweater," i pull him into a hug and he wraps his arms around me.

"i sorry," he says, his voice muffled by my shoulder. "is comfier than mine."

"baby, we have the same sweater."

-

"josh," tyler says my name and my attention is pulled away from whatever is playing on tv.

"yeah?"

"i was doing so good," he leans his head on my shoulder. "i can't have kids if i still regress," he mumbles. "its so stupid. why am i like this?"

"hey, hey, hey," i pull him into my lap and wrap my arms around him. "its okay. youre allowed to slip up. you can't help how you cope with stress. you're not stupid."

"i just want to be able to be a good dad, you know?"

"and you will be. its not like we're having a baby tomorrow, hun. you've got time. and no one is ever one hundred percent ready. we'll make mistakes. but we'll also love that baby more than anyone else could and that's what matters."

"i love you."

"i love you more."

-

for the most part, january passes by fairly quickly. our anniversary comes and goes. before i know it, its february.

"JOSH," tyler is shaking me awake on the sixth, a huge smile on his face.

"what?" i sit up a bit, my eyes barely open. "what is it?"

"WE'RE LEAVING FOR FLORIDA TOMORROW. WE HAVE TO PACK. GET UP."

i do eventually get up, though i didn't want to.

tyler throws things haphazardly into a suitcase and i take them out and fold them properly.

"tyler, stop-," im interuppted when another shirt lands in the suitcase. "stop throwing things. i have to fold them or they wont fit."

"im too excited to care, sorry."

we finish packing in thirty minutes or so, though it wouldve gone faster had tyler not thrown everything all over the place.

"yeah. you can still call me if you need to, but i trust you can handle it."

he's on the phone with brendon now, making sure everything is settled for the next few days.

"the recipes are all organized in a binder in my office. the second drawer of my desk. they're sorted into the different types so you should be fine. make sure to change up which pastries are displayed each day. dont forget to swap the name plates too. once, ashley forgot and the honey biscuits were labeled as pecan sandies all day."

it still strikes me as a bit odd when i hear tyler talk in a more professional manner. im proud of him though, and i must admit that he is very good at what he does.

"you got this brendon. i promise. ill talk to you later," he hangs up and shoves his phone in his pocket. "you know brendon is in a band?"

"really?" i step forward and rest my hands on his hips.

"yeah. panic at the disco or something i think. weird, right?"

"mhm. you know what's weirder?"

"i haven't kissed you yet today."

tyler smiles a little and leans forward to kiss me, his lips moving slowly against mine.

ill never get tired of kissing him, of touching him, of hearing him talk or sing or even snore.

its an odd sensation to be so wrapped around someone's finger, but i don't mind one bit.

"im so in love with you, tyler robert joseph."

"and im in love with you, joshua william dun."

"you think you'll be tyler dun one day? or would you keep your name?"

"ill take dun."

later that day, i tell tyler i have to stop by my office to make sure my paperwork is sorted for when i get back. it was a lie.

"i can't believe you lied about work. how lame are you?" stephani laughs at me as she turns into the mall parking lot.

"i dont think he'll mind," i retort, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"why did you even me to come with you?"

"well, i cant pick out a ring by myself."

(an: too many time skips but oh well!)