QUEERLY ANXIOUS

My Ophelia

I'm missing everything about you.

Im lying awake at 02:41 thinking about every moment we spent together and wondered how my brain got so fucked up. All because of you.

I don't even hate you because I know a lot of this is my fault in the first place.

I remember when we first met and you just sat there counting ants, I knew you were such a unique and wonderful person that I was supposed to treasure. I remember being on a Ferris wheel and thinking I was going to die but realising that if I was, I'd want it to be next to you. I remember asking you to the theatre with me as a date (even though you never knew that's what I wanted) and going to Pizza Hut beforehand because I knew you'd have trouble eating Asian food. I remember looking across the table in Ljubljana when finally we get a pizza that I promised you, and you looked so so so happy and I knew I loved you more than anyone I'd ever known.

Though obviously I'm too emotional and too sensitive for you to deal with. I became difficult for you to walk all over, so when it came for me to move away my texts were just too much contact.

You threw me away.

So why can't I just let you go?