Pawn Shop

chapter 4

'Bzzz...bzzz....bzzzz' 

I groaned as i heard the vibrations of my phone against my side table. I moaned out as I brought my hand up to  rub my eye. While trying taking a moment to fully wake up, I was interrupted by my phone once again.

"Hello?" I groaned out, not bothering to look at the caller ID.

"I'm fifteen minutes away. I just got Jaxon lunch. Please have all your liquor bottles put away before we arrive." My mother scolded in a very pissed off tone then hanging up before I had the chance to reply.

I tossed my phone to the side and glanced at the time on the clock, it read 1:27 pm. I knew I was going to get an earful when my mother came by.

I pushed myself out of bed making my way to the kitchen. I had an awful hangover and all I want was an Advil. I searched all around but had no luck.

I gave up my search and made my way back to my bed room. A deep sigh escaped my lips before I bent over to pick up the two empty liquor bottles.

After I threw them away, I made my way to the bathroom to freshen up. Hopefully to wash the smell of alcohol off of myself. I took a shower, trying not to get too deep in my thoughts. But that was no use. My thoughts were racing through my mind, not really helping my headache.

I forced myself out of the shower and made my way to my closet. After I threw on a random outfit, I heard the voice of my precious angel.

"Mommy! Mommy! Where are you?" Jaxon shouted as he ran up the stairs.

Before I could answer, I heard my mother speak, "let grandma go get mommy. How about you put the rest of your ice cream in the freezer?" Jaxon then ran to do as he was told.

I had walked out of my room, meeting my mom in the hallway.

"I didn't think you'd clean up, let alone get out of bed before we got here" my mother told me in a sarcastic tone.

"Please, not now." I spoke before trying to walk past her so I could go down stairs. Right before I made it, she put her hand out blocking my way.

Tina started to yell, "No Beyoncé, I'm tired of you leaving your son just so you can drink your days away. You really need to get your shit together before it's too late. Have you even been looking for a job?  Huh? Because all it seems like you do is drink. It's time to grow the fuck up and take care of your son!"

Tears were now starting spill from my eyes. I tried to respond but I couldn't get the words out.

"Fucking pathetic" she harshly whispered as she walked back down the stairs.

I was now in full blown tears. Why couldn't anyone understand the pain I was going through? Now I was angry and upset. I began to  march down the stairs. Once I saw Jaxon, I calmed down a little but i was still beyond pissed.

"Go up stairs baby. Get ready for a bath, okay?" I told him

He ran upstairs quickly and right after he did, I started to yell, "I lost my soon to be fucking husband! I lost the love of my life and you want to call me fucking pathetic!? I had to watch them burry the father of my child! How is someone supposed to get over that?  Tell me!  Because the only way I have found is through a damn bottle. No one should have to live with that pain! It's not easy!"

I broke down after letting all my built up emotions out.

"How am I supposed to live without him?" I sobbed out. "How am I supposed to act like he never existed?" I continued.

My mother starred at me with a mixture of shock and sympathy.

"Beyoncé, it's been a half a year.  Baby, you need to let go of the pain. It's okay to be happy.  You just need to get back on track. If you need help, just ask." My mother softly said as she rubbed my back tying to get me to calm down.

"I tried momma! I can't find a job that pays well enough to afford anything. I can't do this by myself!" I replied, almost shouting.

"Tell me what you've been looking at.  What has caught your eye?  We will find you something, okay?" She told me as she continued to comfort me. "When we find you a job, I'll keep Jax whenever." She continued.

All I could do was nod while I sniffed and wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry baby. I really am." She whispered softly.

"Its okay momma. I understand...let me go finish Jax's bath and I'll be right back" I told her before walking up to the bathroom.

Jaxon was splashing water everywhere while playing with his toys. He looked up at me before telling me, "I wash my body!"

"Okay baby! Let's wash your hair now then we can watch a movie!"

After we finished Jaxons bath, I went to grab my laptop while Jaxon ran to pick a movie. Once I got downstairs, I sat next to my mother while Jaxon sat at the coffee table with his attention on his cartoon and his left over ice cream.

I sighed before opening my laptop. I went to Google to begin my search for jobs hirring near me.

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I am sorry for not updating in like forever. I just assumed the story wasn't worth continuing due to the lack of appreciation. But I am really thankful for the comments left over the last few days, they motivated me to write another chapter. Thank you!