Pawn Shop

chapter 6

"Beyoncé! I don't understand why you don't want to explore your options before you settle for a job that you don't even know if you'd like!" Tina stressed to her daughter.

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it anymore. You bitch that I didn't have a job and now that I found an option, you want to bitch some more. I can't fucking win with you!" She shouted back.

After the run in with Shawn, I decided to hold off on job hunting. I think this would be a good start but of course my mother doesn't agree.

"Watch your mouth when you talk to me!" Tina scolded. "I'm your mother, and I just want better for you" she continued.

To be honest, I wanted this job because this is all I can handle at this point. I'm not gonna jump back into working when I have a son to worry about and even my damn self.

After letting my mother out, I walked upstairs to my room. I wanted to pick out a business casual outfit for when I decided to meet Shawn at his shop.

It's been three days and I'm anxious to see the place. I'm finally getting my life back on track.

"Jaxon, baby! Come here!" I called from my bedroom.

I heard his feet running through the hallway towards what I thought was my room. After a few long moments I called him again but there was no response.

He better not start with me today...

I walked to his bedroom and I couldn't believe what I saw. Apparently i have a little Pacasso on my hands.

Jaxon came out his bathroom with two markers in each hand and a smile on his face.

"Jaxon" I said sternly, "why the hell did you do this?" I yelled out at him.

I snatched the markers out of his hand and went to throw them away. I grabbed some cleaner and a rag before marching back to his room.

Jaxon was standing in front of the new edition on his wall.

"You're gonna clean this shit up" I told him.

After telling him what to do, he tried his best to clean the marker streaks but failed. It took everything in me to not beat his ass. I grabbed the rag and tried scrubbing but there was no use.
His permanent marker picture was just gonna stay permanent.

I sat down on the floor too stressed to go on with my day. I look over at Jaxon who was silently crying while sitting on his bed.

I looked around his room trying to figure out which color I'm just going to have to pain his walls now.

After calming down enough that the urge to beat my child had been suppressed, I asked him, "why did you do this? You know this is wrong!"

All he did was sniffle. He eventually looked up at me with sad eyes and shrugged.

I got up and went over to his bed and was about to sit down until I realized there was a paper laying there. I picked it up and before I could toss it to the side, I noticed that it was just a miniature version of the large piece on the wall.

"Jax, what is this?" I asked softly showing him the picture.

"Me, you and daddy" he whispered.

After Eric's death I never really took into consideration how deeply effected Jax was. I was too deep in my feelings to realize how sad he actually was.

I held him in my arms as he cried and eventually feel asleep. I layed him down before making my way to the kitchen.

I grabbed a bottle of vodka and made my way to my room. I stripped from my outfit and threw on a t-shirt before snuggling into bed. I turned my t.v. into a random channel. I opened the bottle and downed nearly half the bottle before falling asleep.