Pawn Shop

chapter 9

"Id say we had a success! I didn't expect so many customers on the first day!" i said excited.

"me either, i'm going to have to go back to the market to find more stuff until people start donating or pawning stuff. I wasn't expecting a trip back there so soon" Shawn informed me.

I was now curious on how Shawn got all of the merchandise. My curiosity was cut short by Shawn continuing to talk, "Hey so since this was such a success thanks to you, how about I treat you to dinner- Unless that's too much. You can just take off early if you want to." He rambled on.

"I'd actually really appreciate you taking me to dinner." I said cutting him off with a smile.

I don't know if he was nervous because i'm his coworker or if he actually kinda liked me. Surprisingly, I wanted it to be the latter.

After we made sure the shop was all ready for tomorrow, Shawn guided me out to the parking lot.

"Is there anywhere particular you want to go?" He asked as we stood kind of awkwardly in front of our cars.

All i replied with was a slight head shake. I didn't have any particular cravings. I don't know why the sudden wave of shyness decided to wash over me now.

"Okay, well I have a place in mind. It's kinda out of the way though." He informed me.

I knew I would not have enough gas for this out of the way restaurant. I still had the rest of the week having to get to and from work with the little bit of gas I do have. I still don't even know exactly when and how much i'm getting paid.

Just as I was going to have to decline his offer, he spoke up like he could sense my decision.

"We can take my car. I can bring you back here to pick up your car later" He offered.

I let out a soft response agreeing to his proposition.

After I slowly made my way towards the passenger seat of his car, I got settled in. As he turned on the car, the speakers started to play soft R&B classics.

This whole scenario gave me deja vu. The warm embrace from the car with the soft music in the background. This reminded me of the typical dinner dates that me and Eric used to share. Every week we made sure to make time to tell each other about our week.

I felt sadness wash over me along with the feeling of guilt. How can I put myself in this situation with a man who isn't Eric? This isn't right, this feels so wrong.

I broke myself from my train of thought and looked out the window. We are not far from the shop. I can just walk back and go home. I can pretend this didn't happen. I can pray to be forgiven.

My mind starts racing and I can't keep up. My heart rate starts to increase as I start to panic. Why though? All I know is that I can't do this.

"Hey...You okay?" Shawn said breaking me from my almost panic attack.

"Ya, I'm fine." I replied softly.

I began to feel uncomfortable. My hands slipped under my thighs and my head stayed down.

"Are you sure? I've been calling your name for a minute now" He said with a voice just as soft as mine. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me, If I made you feel upset I apologize. We can grab the food to go and i'll get you back as soon as I can." He continued.

My head shot up towards him. "No no, it wasn't you. I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind." I let out fast.

"You always seem to have a lot on your mind. It possibly can not be healthy for you to be stuck in your thoughts all the time. Are you sure you are okay? I'm a great listener and we still have a bit longer until we get to the restaurant, traffic isn't making the time go faster either." He said trying to lighten the mood.

Silence filled the car momentarily before he spoke up again, "is it something regarding the person who gave you that ring? Last time I mentioned it you got upset"

Tears instantly filled my eyes. I hate this. I hate that I am too weak to move on. I hate the constant sadness and tears after the slightest mention on Eric.

Silence filled the car until my soft voice broke it, "My fiancé gave it to me" I said.

"Okay, so what happened that got you so upset?" He questioned.

Another spell of silence casted through the car. I couldn't say it.

"Did he cheat? Was he already married?" He continued to guess.

I spoke up soon after with a soft remark, "He died"

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okay i know this is short. I will try to write more soon.

I'm sorry for not updating in forever but i promise i will try to change that.

Merry Christmas xoxo