With Love, Étienne | ✓

Chapter Ten

THE LIBRARY WAS FULL OF STUDENTS WHO WERE CRAMMED OVER THEIR TABLES.

It was almost an intimidating sight to see everyone work so hard while it was only noon and I was all-but stumbling inside now, eyes filled with sleep. Each seat was filled with someone and if anyone had ever walked through a college library, it wasn't just me who found it embarrassing to try and find an empty table somewhere, right?

My books were hugged to my chest tightly and I rounded the corner, coming across another array of tables. While my eyes were scanning left and right, landing on each bent-over head that was either furiously scribbling something down on their notepads or typing up an assignment on their laptop. The building was stuffy but every single window was closed and even though the rain was peltering outside, it felt like over fifty degrees in here. The hoodie and jacket I was wearing were beginning to stick to me from the warmth and I knew if I didn't take it off within the next few minutes, I was going to end up sweating profusely. My feet shuffled farther down the library, leading to the even quieter areas where it felt as though breathing wasn't allowed. I made sure to tiptoe my way around, blushing when a head would jerk up to see me awkwardly walking through.

And then my gaze landed on Milo. It was like a train crashing into me all of a sudden and I froze in my step; unsure of what to do. He was leaning over a desk, one elbow on the table while the other was casually stuffed into his pocket. Even though there was a 'no-speaking' rule in here, he threw his head back and chuckled at something the girl whispered to him. She clamped a hand over her mouth and her cheeks grew a cherry red shade while Milo flashed her his signature smile and nodded in agreement to whatever she had said. His bag was thrown over his shoulder casually, half-open and crumpled notes spilling out of the sides. As though he could feel the weight of my stare on him, he glanced up for a quick moment and locked his eyes on me. He didn't change his expression, one of mirth and joy, he simply just looked back down and smiled at the girl in her seat. It was a blow to the chest – he knew me better than anyone, had grown up together and I wasn't even offered a wave. It felt like I had made eye-contact with a stranger; someone who was completely uninterested in who you were.

I worked up the courage to walk past him then and our shoulders brushed in the lightest of touches before I was gone and half-way down the new aisle of library shelves. My breath was held and baited for some reason, as though I was expecting him to reach out and stop me. Perhaps say a hello - but nothing happened. He didn't look at me and I didn't look at him. I wasn't sure why there was a crushing feeling of disappointment in my chest. Maybe that was why we shouldn't hold such high expectations of others – for they were always going to let us down in the end. Milo was the brother I never had so not only did I feel as though I was losing a friend, but also a family member.

Then I stumbled across the one person I was searching for. She was bent over her desk like everyone else but there was something about her that stood out to me. I wasn't sure if that was because I was in love with her and everything ordinary about her became extraordinary to me. Her brows were furrowed tightly and every few seconds she would lean back in her seat with a perplexed expression before blinking in rapid succession and getting back to her work. I smiled from the distance and knew there wasn't another person in the world that I would ever be able to look at like that and feel the way I did now. It was overwhelming; consuming my every fibre but in the way that felt so good and addicting that I never wanted to stop.

Not wanting to appear like some kind of creep who was just standing there and staring, I closed the distance between us and when my shadow loomed over her desk, she glanced up and her entire face lit up with a soft beam.

"Hey," I whispered with a smile and pulled out the seat beside her, "Thanks for saving this for me."

"No problem," she waved me off, "I saw your text earlier saying you wanted to get some work done here so I thought I'd dump my stuff on the chair next to me so no-one sat here."