Sol

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What if evil doesn't exist? What if evil is something dreamt up, and there is nothing to struggle against except our own limitations? The constant battle between our will, our desires, and our choices? That was the thought that kept burning into the back of my mind like a persistent fly buzzing in my ear. No matter how hard I tried to shake away the thought, the words kept floating across my vision. Everything else turned black around the ridges. Just a rim of darkness.

I shook my head vigorously.

Why couldn't I focus? Concentration suddenly seemed to be something unattainable, like the frozen water in the form of clouds. A desirable thing, yet something so far away it would be ludicrous to think about drinking from the white masses.

Focus, I ordered myself silently. My amber eyes narrowed in determination.

"Focus." I repeated aloud. A voice over my shoulder disrupted what little concentration I had mustered. I growled angrily, my long tail lashed against the ground. Dust stirred up in a cloud.

"What?" I hissed impatiently. I stared at the badger behind me, she was appraising me with cold beady eyes. Her heavy paws glimmered with lethal claws. She looked like an ordinary badger, but if you looked long enough you would see wisdom behind her black eyes. You would see practiced care with herbs woven into her paws like a thread of fabric intertwined with other stands.

You would also be able to see how insufferable and annoying her criticism and constant presence is.

"Fight harder you do, the farther reach you must," Midnight declared in her ominous way, her fluency of cat tongue was respectable but still lacking.

"What are you even talking about?" I sighed with exasperation. Midnight looked up to the night sky, I copied her. She always did everything with a purpose I learned.

"Stressed you look. Why so?" Midnight asked although the answer was obvious.

"My mind was somewhere else, I kept thinking about...something," I snapped, disgruntled. The badger nodded her small head.

"The answer you seek up there lies not, but in your heart you must reach."

Realization swept over me.

"You mean the dust was showing me something?" I asked excitedly. I looked closer at the night sky, looking for the familiar patterns and swirls. But I couldn't ind any. My ability to read the dust was decreasing with practice, instead of getting better.

"Ignore the obvious you do, answer pushes at you, push back you do. Look in heart." She said again. I finally tore my gaze away from the sky, but her words never fully sunk in until it was too late.

...

My life has been an interesting one. I have been shunned all my life because I was different. That's really all you need to know. However you always ask for more details, you always want to know 'the whole story'. So I suppose I can tell you my story, however you must listen closely because I won't repeat myself.

There is not much I remember from kithood. It's mostly a blur, everyday was just a constant struggle for survival. Cold and Hungry, Hungry and Cold. Some days I remember my father showing up, those days were better. He made promises to take care of me and my siblings. He promised my mother Cinder's he'd stick around this time. But a few days later he'd be gone again, and we'd all wonder when he was going to show up again and raise our hopes before leaving and taking our hope with him.

The last time I saw my father he said goodbye. I should've known then he didn't plan on coming back. He'd always said 'take care of Cinders' or 'don't wait up for me'. But the last time I saw him, in the early morning hours of the first day of leafbare, he was staring at the long Thunderpath ahead. Cinders and my three siblings were asleep by the side of the Thunderpath, I'd woken up for some reason. Sleep still clouded my vision as I approached my father. An innate sense of foreboding filled my stomach.

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