Book 4: Sol's Revenge & Whisper's Path

Whisper

I was in shock. Or at least that's what the medicine cat Featherfall told me. I was cold and clammy beneath my gray fur. I had a rapid pulse and shallows breaths. My pupils were enlarged. I had apparently thrown up. All the symptoms of shock I was displaying.

The funny thing is I felt totally calm. Well, maybe not calm. I think apathetic is the word. I was beyond caring, beyond feeling. The whole scene that just transpired was shocking for sure, but I was not in shock.

Still I ate the poppy seeds Featherfall gave me. I allowed myself to rest in the warrior cat den as Cedarclan surveyed the damage and tried to frantically repair their shattered clan before dawn.

How could it be that mere hours ago Sol and his supporters tried to ambush the warriors returning from the gathering, a time of peace, in order to kill the leader and deputy and rule the clan. In the resulting fight the new warrior Rainfur was driven off by Sols supporters. And Jaysong...Jaysong made a mistake in trusting Sol. I made the same mistake in ignoring my brothers crave for power. We both paid the price. But Jaysong paid with his life.

Several of the traitors fled the clan. The others repented, begged for mercy, claimed they never thought things would go so far. Hailstar was dead. So it was up to Gingerfern to decide what to do with the warriors. Her first act as the new leader was to forgive. They would be heavily monitored, their actions to be reported to her whenever they so much as got up to make dirt. And for one moon they would take on the apprentice duties as punishment. But they were forgiven.

Gingerfern, or should I call her Gingerstar yet? She hasn't gotten her nine lives, she's going to wait a few days for things to calm down in Cedarclan. I think she might be able to save her clan. She's brave, noble, honest. Maybe a little naive at times and not as sure-pawed as she should be, but she is a born leader.

I'm in love with her.

I realize this as I realize something else almost simultaneously.

I can not stay in Cedarclan.

Sol almost destroyed this clan. He tore friends apart in the battle he created. Hailstar and Jaysong died by his fangs. Rainfur fled for his life. And I am his brother. Nothing will ever change that. Not my love for Gingerfern, not the crimes he may commit. We are brothers and Cedarclan will never accept me. Suddenly I understand my sister's perspective.

Echo knew there was something about Sol that wasn't right and she was repulsed by it. She didn't want to be his sister but she couldn't change that fact. I wish for the first time in my life that Sol had never been born. It would've saved me a lot of turmoil.

I fight against the poppy seed in my system. My eyelids feel heavy but I stand on shaky legs. I want to be gone before the sun peaks over the horizon. I won't have to say goodbye with wishes of ill will whispered behind my back. I stumbled out of the warrior den and slink out of camp. No one seems to notice. They are otherwise occupied in trying to salvage what remains of their trust for one another.

I'm halfway through the forest, nearing the border, when a voice behind me makes me stop.

"You're leaving then," Gingerfern says, the hurt apparent in her voice. I can't turn around. If I look into her green eyes I know all my resolve will vanish.

"You'll be one of the greatest leaders these lands have ever known." I say it so soft I don't know if she hears. She does.

"You were born to be a clan cat Whisper. You've got the passion for your friends, the loyalty to a cause. Your paws can heal, I've seen it. Stay with us, help Featherfall."

"Either way we can never be together," I murmur, admitting my feelings. Gingerfern doesn't say anything.

"Take care of yourself," she finally speaks. I hear her pawsteps retreating and I want to scream loud enough for every cat in the forest to hear. Instead I keep walking forward. One paw in front of the other. On and on until the poppy seeds finally win out and I collapse somewhere in twoleg lands.