Focused | Completed

I, I, I'm sorry

We locked gaze and just stared at each other. He pulled me in by my waist and kissed me. His lips were soft and embracing. This moment was perfect. This was everything I ever wanted, but I couldn't have it. I pulled away.

Me: I,I, I'm sorry.

I ran off to my car. I didn't look back. I can't be with him. There would be so many consequences and I don't want him to go through that. I drove the car out of the parking lot as fast as I could. Tears began to fill my eyes, I pulled over on the road and let out all the tears. I wanted it so bad. But I just can't, I can't do it.

Tanner POV
We stood there with our eyes locked with each other's. I had been trying to find the right time for this. She was beautiful, the way the light shined on her, The way her eyes sparkled in reflection to the light, her presence. I grabbed her by the waist and kissed her. She thankfully kissed back too. She smelt amazing, and her kisses are like sparks. But she pulled away.

Alex: I, I, I'm sorry. 

She ran off. I was left there, I froze when heard those words. I watched her get into her car and drive off. I didn't understand, I thought she liked me back. Now I think I've just ruined our friendship and all. I went to my truck and burst into tears. She just ran off without saying anything. I began to question if it was something I did. I felt awful. I began to throw things in my car. I hit the steering wheel, threw things that were in grasp, the whole truck looked like a mess. Sad and Guilty, I sat there by myself.

Timeskip to at Home:
I opened the door to the apartment Gunner and I share.

Gunner: Did it work?

I threw my keys to the ground and threw the door closed.

Gunner: Dude, what happened.

Me: I NEVER SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU.

I angrily walked to my room and shut the door behind me. I threw my jacket on my bed and lay there just mad. I knew I was taking too much of a risk. I knew this would happen. All the worst things came flowing into my head. I tried to keep calm but I began to tear up. It was all so much. I heard a knock at my door.

Gunner: Dude, you wanna talk about it?

Me: Not really.

Gunner: C'mon man, open the door.

I stayed silent hoping he'd go away, but he didn't. After a few seconds I gave in.

Me: Okay

He opened the door and sat on the edge of the bed I lay down straight.

Me: Everything went as plan, just like you told me. The night was perfect. I went in and kissed her. She kissed back and everything, she accepted it almost immediately. Then....she pulled away and ran off saying sorry. She didn't even say anything after that. She just ran off. I don't know if I did something that made her run off, or if she doesn't feel the same, or even if it's something that she isn't ready for.

Gunner: Text her. Call her. Try that and if it doesn't work then maybe she just needs time to regroup.

Me: Okay

I picked up my phone and texted her 3 times and called her 4 times. I checked my phone every second. I didn't want to text her too much or call her too much that she'd get annoyed. I grabbed a bottle of Gin from my cupboard and drank some. After a while my drunk ass fell asleep.

Gunner: Dude, wake up your late.

Me: Yup, I'm getting up.

I got out of my bed and got ready.

Gunner: Holy Crap. What the fuck are you wearing?!

Me: Clothes?

Gunner: You can't wear patterned shorts with that shirt.

Me: (large sigh)

I rubbed the bridge of my nose trying to sooth my headache, I think I drank more than I anticipated to.

Gunner: And put a hat on. Your hairs all messed.

I walked to my room and changed into jeans and an white top and a hat in hand.

Gunner: Hurry up dude!

We left 15 minutes late. I think Gunner could tell I was a little hungover, he brought a water bottle for me. As we pulled up to the studio I began to get butterflies, I don't know why. I was also nervous if Alex were to come in today or not. On Monday's she comes in late and only for a bit. I walked in and ran straight to Matt's office. He was at his desk vlogging. Once I saw him I didn't want to disturb him so I turned around and tried to walk away.

Matthias: Morning dude, what's up.

Me: Morning, uuuuh is....Alex, coming in today?

Matthias: I don't know, she probably hasn't woken up yet.

Me: Okay well if she says anything just let me know.

Matthias: Okay?

I went down to my office and began working. It was 11:30 and Matt came in my office I share with Gunner.

Matthias: She isn't coming today. Why?

Me: I just needed to talk to her.

Matthias: So why don't you text her?

Me: I did. I called her too.

Matthias: .......what's wrong?

Me: Nothing.

Matthias: Are you sure?

I realized that he was one of my best friends, and I tell my best friends everything. But he's her brother. I thought about it before and I made up my mind in that moment.

Me: No

Matthias: C'mon

I could tell he knew it was serious when my face dropped after I exhaled. We walk upstairs to Matt's office, he closes the door and puts up a do not disturb sign, he pulls down all the blinds and turns off his computer. A little scary but I delt with it. I sat on the couch and Matt sat on his chair.

Matthias: Okay.

Me: I want you to save your comments and expressions for the end.

I took a deep breath and let the butterflies be.

Me: Well, uuuuh.....